#maybe he lied to aaron what do you know
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naturecalls111 · 24 days ago
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gghostwriter · 4 months ago
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Knots of Yearning
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Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader
Summary: Spencer lies by omission or in which Spencer acts like he doesn’t know how to tie a tie just to get you to do it for him Trope: Yearning/Angst; think season 1 Spencer Reid w.c: 1.3k a/n: when i thought of this idea, i was thinking it would be some cute light hearted fluff but when i started writing it, it became angst, filled with pining and tension so I dunno what happened but i finished writing it and thought it would be a waste not to post my rambly written fic. I might write a part 2 for this just to close it out to a happy ending. Let me know if that would interest you. Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! 💗
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Two halves of a whole, the perfect pairing and yin & yang. Those were just some monikers that Spencer Reid had heard describing his partnership with you that started during the academy. He, being a genius in all things academic and psychological but severely lacking in the physical and combat department. You, on the other hand, filled those gaps—acing all physicals and being well known for being a shy but killer shot. Not to say you were lacking in the other categories, no, you came only second during written exams. 
So it came as a no surprise when graduation came and you both were cherry picked to join the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Spencer being chosen by SSA Jason Gideon and you being selected by Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner. 
The two geniuses of the BAU and the apprentices were added to the roster of nicknames.
Ever since then, he had traded in his standard issued trainee uniform to a button down and a matching tie—a tie that he badly struggles with or so Spencer made you believe. He didn’t mean to lie at first—didn’t mean it to go this far but by the time he felt the need to tell the truth, it had been too late. Each moment you’ve spent close to his space, invading it really, had become the highlight of his days and fuel for his nights. 
He often wondered if you catalogued his reaction just like how he did yours. Did you notice his staccato breathing just like how he noticed your subtle inhalation of his perfume? What about the reddening of his cheeks and neck in contrast to your trembling fingers? Or how about his eyes that convey his utter devotion as yours focus on any exposed skin in between his tie and collar? 
It seemed like a dance between him and you, to see how the other reacts and to figure out who would cave under the mounting attraction that had been building since the first ‘hello.’ 
With his choice of tie for the day hanging loosely on his neck, you would shyly smile and as if spellbound, he would shuffle to your orbit in silent plea for help that he needed.
Each glide of your finger made his encompassing thoughts about the mundane stutter into a halt. How his mind would then bombard itself with questions as to how the universe created such perfection. Each loop of your hand became vivid imagery of his own nimble fingers caressing your palm and all its engraved lines as if they contain the maps to all hidden mysteries of the world. And each tug to secure the knot transformed into a loud beating of his chest, encased within it’s cavity, with chants of waxing prose on how your very being, mind, body, and soul, call to his in a way that even his expansive vernacular could never explain. 
But no matter how much he wished for time to slow down for these intimate moments to last, it never did comply. So here he stayed, lying by omission—yearning for you to notice him, memorize him, and end his pining for the woman who seemed too unattainable for his clumsy, stuttering self.
———
 You accepted the lie well. Maybe too well.
The first time a blue striped flimsy piece of accessory hung around his neck, a sudden burst of courage took over, bringing you to a stop in front of his lithe, towering body and hands reaching up to whisper caresses on the silk to mold it into a secure neck tie that centered itself on his reddening neck—the color matching the one that bloomed on your cheeks as you realized what you’ve done. 
Your mind had rationalized someone as smart as he knew how to fix a tie but your body had moved on it’s own, having have spotted a once in a lifetime chance to invade his well protected space—the same way he had invaded your mind in every waking and sleeping moment.
That same chance turned into a routine. A blessing that you had come to look forward to, your steps having a bounce in them as you enter the bull pen and spotting a different pattern tie hanging undone on his neck every work day.
You knew, with no backing evidence that Spencer has to be doing it on purpose but didn’t want to spiral much into thought as to why he would leave that intimate action up to you.
Did he take note of every reaction you had to his presence the same way you did? The slight rocking on your heels as he inhaled your carefully chosen perfume? The biting of your lip as you felt his honey dripping eyes on your face? If he felt the same, you wondered why nothing has been done and if you had another burst of courage, would you have acted upon the tension? 
Maybe. Maybe not.
Maybe that was why you settled for accepting his poorly crafted lie of not knowing how to tie a necktie. 
It wasn’t really a lie if the other party knew the truth, right? Or was it a double lie now that silence has stacked between you and him? 
If you were being slightly honest with yourself, Spencer Reid had always fascinated you. Among the sea of gym built muscles during the academy, his gazelle stature has stuck out like a sore thumb and that intrigued you. How was it that a male, younger than any of his peers, that looked like he could grace a runway was in an institution that reeked sweat and masculinity? That very same question answered when you found yourself seated beside him in a profiler career talk. His intellect, that was why and although it seemed to alienate the others, not once did you feel inferior beside him. Rather, it pulled you in more. His quiet, unsure demeanor was the next to capture your attention. It was an invisible coat that he wore everywhere he went, sewn from years of bullying and ostracizing—similar to your experiences of having skipped a grade. Here was a comrade you thought and so, you silently orbited around his gravitational pull until he took notice and uttered the words ‘hello, I’m Dr. Spencer Reid’ in a low, trembling voice. 
You didn’t know when that same fascination turned into adoration. There was never a specific moment in time that you could pinpoint when it all changed. It just happened, one day you woke up and the past truth had transformed into a half truth—and the whole truth now being, you falling and yearning for a man who had a bright future in reading people’s actions but seemed too oblivious to the call of your aching heart. 
———
Morgan and Elle shared an exasperated look as they noted the two youngest members of the team silently flirting in the middle of the bullpen, yet again. They didn’t get how obtuse the two smartest people in the room were with their feelings for one another. 
“You think we should give them a push?” He whispered to his female partner.
Elle scrunched her face. “At this point, we might just have to confess for the other.”
And in that moment, another moniker was added to the roster. The dense lovers of the BAU, a nickname that the remaining members use only behind both the duo’s back as they become bystanders to what could be a match made in heaven. If only one would admit to the other. 
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certaimromance · 2 months ago
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ꫂ ၴႅၴ Effects of the Curse.
Aaron Hotchner x Fem!reader
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Summary: After receiving some outside comments, the topic of marriage comes up. Unfortunately, you and Aaron have different views on the matter.
Words: 2,7k.
Warnings & Tags: mention to marriage, divorce, jack and haley. angst WITHOUT happy ending. established relationship. about a year after hotch's departure from the fbi. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: As a person who wants to get married, this is pretty personal lol.
♡ Enjoy! ♡
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You were leaning against one of the kitchen counters as you waited for the water you had put in the kettle to heat up and allow you to brew coffee. Behind you, you could hear your boyfriend rummaging through the cupboard for your favorite mug and carefully placing it next to his, going through the same routine the two of you had already established.
But something was feeling different this time.
It had more to do with your memories of the family dinner you'd gone to the day before, where there hadn't been a single person who hadn't asked when you were going to officially become Mrs. Hotchner, when you were going to take that big step down the aisle, and maybe even expand the family beyond that. It was a little silly for you to think so much about it, because those were the typical comments people made when they saw a functioning couple, and it had happened to you before with ex-boyfriends you took home, but this time it felt more serious.
Maybe it was because of how your heart was racing as you imagined wearing a ring that would show your total commitment to love someone to death, or maybe it was how Aaron reacted, or rather his lack of reaction, and how much that bothered you.
The sunlight streaming in through the kitchen window and filtering through the trees in the yard had you so mesmerized at that moment that you barely felt when his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to him. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you let out a slight sound of surprise and relaxed a little under his touch.
“What is on your mind? Perhaps the new coffee maker we should definitely consider purchasing?” He asked with a cheerful tone.
Yes, you two definitely had to buy a new one after the old one suddenly stopped working. But that wasn't what you were thinking about. You were a long way from that.
“Sure, we should do that.” Your answer was blurted out almost out of obligation and came out robotically.
He wasn't stupid, nor had he lost the habits of a profiler after so many years as one. He knew you well enough to know that something was troubling you, even if he didn't know exactly why. He pulled you a little closer and planted a small kiss on the top of your head, tightening his grip on your waist a little more to comfort you as he spoke.
“Darling.” He murmured softly, wanting you to give him your full attention. “I can practically see the gears turning in your head, what's wrong with you?”
You, were what you wanted to say.
“Nothing, just...it's been a long day.” That was all that came out of your mouth.
To tell the truth, it had been an exhausting day, and at least you hadn't lied that much. You had been very restless, trying to do many things to keep the destructive thoughts out of your mind, and it had made you quite tired.
“Don't try to fool me. I know you well enough to know when you are lying.” He gently pinched the sides of your waist and turned you to look into his eyes.
“I...I was just thinking about some things my family said yesterday.” You finally confessed, your voice a little shaky, as if telling him would embarrass you.
“Like what?” He furrowed his brow in concern, brushing a hand against your cheek in that way that always made you feel a bit weak in the knees.
His touch was so warm and loving against your skin, and for a moment, it almost made you forget what you were thinking about. Almost.
“Just a few things about how I haven't married you yet, and...” You didn't even want to finish the sentence, feeling your heart beat a little faster as the words got stuck in your throat. “That we don't have, you know, kids.”
Aaron took a quick look at your face as he heard your confession. His heart clenched a little as he realized what you were talking about, and he couldn't help but be curious about it. The topic of marriage and having children hadn't come up much since you started dating because he already had Jack and had been married once. It was a goal he'd already achieved. However, he knew it was a topic that needed to be discussed, as he saw your worried expression and slightly trembling voice.
He put his hands on your shoulders, giving them a gentle massage to relieve the tension. He didn't want to seem careless or unconcerned, so he spoke after pausing.
“And you were worried because...?”
He looked at you with a kind of intense gaze that made you feel like your heart was going to burst out of your chest at any moment. As he massaged your shoulders, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.
“Well, from the way you reacted, I guess.” You admitted, your voice full of doubt. “I mean, I know we haven't really talked about it, but...it's hard to know what you're thinking when the subject comes up and you have that cold expression on your face, like it's nothing relevant.”
His expression softened, and he brought his hands to your face, cupping your cheeks to make sure you were looking directly at him.
“You know very well that I have already taken care of that.” He said softly, trying to find the best words. “Marriage, children...I had that. I have Jack. And he's enough for me.”
Enough for him. Were you too?
His words had a surprising effect on you, leaving you with a somewhat bitter taste in your mouth. Despite this, you maintained a calm exterior, striving to conceal your true feelings.
“And what about what's enough for me?” You inquired, addressing the issue with a candor you had previously avoided. The words emerged from your mouth almost involuntarily.
Hotchner was taken aback by your question. The way you asked it gave the impression that you were accusing him, although he was unsure if this was the intention. He took a deep breath, searching for the most tactful way to respond to your words.
“I...I didn't realize.” He began, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts. “You never mentioned that you wanted to get married or have children. I thought you were happy with our current situation.”
“Not really.” You admitted, avoiding eye contact as you looked down at the floor. “I mean, I really love Jack, he's a wonderful boy.”
Aaron listened intently as you continued, your words coming out hesitantly.
“And being with you...it makes me so happy.” You sighed and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “But…I feel like I need more. I want more, and I'm not necessarily talking about a child. I want to know that you belong to me as much as I belong to you.”
Aaron walked over and stood in front of you, placing his hands on your hips. He stared at you as he spoke, his voice soft but firm.
“Darling, my love...I belong to you, and you belong to me, and you don't need a ring to know that. If you want one, I'll buy it for you, that or whatever you want.”
You let out a small sigh and leaned closer to him, resting your head on his chest. You could hear the steady beat of his heart as he held you tightly and his body enveloped you in a warm embrace.
“I know.” You said quietly, the words somewhat muffled against his shirt. “But it's not just about the ring. It's about the commitment, the symbol of our union...and how that gives me security.”
He ran his fingers through your hair gently as he listened, his touch soothing against your scalp.
“Listen to me.” He began, his tone affectionate. “I've always been committed to you. From the moment I allowed myself to open up to you to the first night we spent together, and every day since. You know it. Does it really take a ceremony to make you believe it?”
When you looked at him, you felt a rush of emotions. You knew he loved you, and he was right. He had shown you his commitment many times. You had even been living together for a couple of years. But there was still a part of you that longed for that tangible symbol of love.
“I don't doubt you.” You said, choosing your words carefully. “But it's about symbolism. Having physical proof of our commitment shows the world how firmly bound we are to each other. And I know you believe in it. You were married once for a reason.”
Oh, that's a sensitive topic.
He let out a small sigh when you mentioned his previous marriage, and his fingers stopped stroking your hair. It was an uncomfortable and painful subject he didn't like to talk about, especially with you. The memories of his failed marriage were difficult to process, not only because of Haley's death but also because of the many problems that had plagued their relationship before its sad end.
“Maybe I believed that before, or at least I thought I did.” He replied after a short pause. “But that doesn't mean I want to go through it all again.”
“Even with me?” You asked softly, lifting your head to look into his eyes. There was a hint of vulnerability and sadness in your expression, your heart trembling slightly in anticipation of his answer. “Even in the future?”
Aaron observed your expression and the slight shift in your demeanor. He was aware of the impact his words could have on you, and he took care to choose them carefully. He gently traced your features with the back of his hand, his thumb gently moving across your face.
“This isn't about you or time at all.” He said in a soft voice, trying to express his love for you. “I just couldn't go through that again. The expectations, the disappointment, the divorce. It's too much.”
As he spoke, he paused and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to contain his emotions. His previous marriage had left him deeply scarred, and the thought of suffering the same fate again, especially with you, filled him with dread. He silently prayed every day that history would never repeat itself.
But your situation was quite different. The concerns he expressed, which he did not fully explain, only served to increase your doubts. You were aware that Aaron had every reason to be fearful after experiencing so much in the past, but you were surprised that he seemed to be afraid to be with you in front of the law.
How could he be so sure that a marriage with you would end in divorce? If his demanding job could no longer be the cause of the failure, could it perhaps be something else? Could it be you?
“You're not the same as before, and I'm not-” You started to say when you were interrupted by a loud whistle.
The unexpected sound of the kettle whistling gently interrupts the moment between the two, if only for a brief moment, allowing you both to take a breath.
He carefully put out the fire and poured the steaming water into the cups he had thoughtfully prepared earlier. He then added a teaspoon of sugar to each and a little milk to yours, taking care to ensure it was just the way you liked it. As you both watched the hot liquid swirl in the cups, he let out a sigh. Aaron felt a sense of responsibility, knowing he wasn't able to deliver what you desired.
Hotchner handed you your cup with care, ensuring that he did not accidentally burn himself in the process. The kitchen fell silent as he stood next to you while you both sipped your coffee, lost in your own thoughts.
The taste of coffee with a little milk on your tongue distracted you from the heavy atmosphere that had settled between you and him in the kitchen. In that moment, you took the opportunity to watch him closely and try to decipher what he was thinking. Maybe use a little of what you had learned from being with a profiler for so long.
His face was set, and you could easily see the emotion in his eyes. He was not happy with the conversation, and his expression had given him away from the first crossword on the subject.
When Aaron noticed you staring at him in the midst of his silence, he looked up into your eyes and held them for a few seconds. He knew exactly what you were trying to do, but it didn't bother him. Being a profiler, he found it ironic, and a small smile appeared on his lips.
“You can look at me all you want.” He said with a dry laugh. “And try to profile me if you want.”
“It's not that...” You began to say, but you knew he was right. That was precisely what you were attempting to do, trying to discern his feelings, even utilizing some profiling techniques he had taught you himself. You let out a small sigh, feeling a little foolish for your lack of subtlety.
Of course he'd realize. The man could leave the FBI, but the FBI couldn't leave the man.
“I find it challenging not to.” You confessed, tilting your head and taking a sip of your coffee. “I've picked up on some of your habits, I suppose.”
He let out a soft chuckle, acknowledging that you were trying to get a read on him and feeling relieved to see the earlier tension ease. He lifted the cup to his lips and took a small sip, letting the hot liquid warm his insides before speaking in a friendly tone.
“And what have I taught you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.
“A few things.” You replied, with a hint of sarcasm. “Like how to spot lies, read body language, and how to read people well. Basically, all the skills required to be a profiler, except how to not profile your loved one.”
“I see your point.” He replied, a soft smile on his face, grateful that things between you were feeling good again. “Perhaps I should have taught you that last part too, but you would have made a good profiler.”
“I would have made a good wife too.” The comment came out before you could stop yourself, and you immediately covered your mouth with your fingers after saying it.
Aaron's smile faded as soon as you spoke, and the tension in the room intensified. He exhaled, a combination of fatigue and frustration, and placed the half-finished coffee on the counter behind you before crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“I'm sorry.” You spoke up before he could even open his mouth, hoping to get a word in first.
“Don't.” His answer came almost automatically.
It was then that you grabbed your cell phone after hearing it vibrate, hoping to avoid the situation. “It's the seamstress. Jack's costume is ready.”
He nodded silently as you picked up the cell phone from the kitchen table. The comment was still in the air, and you sensed that he had heard it, but he didn't react at all. Instead, he seemed relieved that the awkward moment between the two was over, if only temporarily.
Thank you, Halloween.
After a brief pause, Aaron inquired gently. “Would you like me to accompany you to collect it?”
“I believe it would be best if I went alone.” You replied after a moment. “I need to take some time to process things, and you need to wait for your son. He will be out of school soon.”
Aaron felt a slight discomfort in his chest at your words. He recognized the truth in what you said, that some time apart might be beneficial for both of you to reflect on the conversation and all that was left unsaid.
And after that, you proceeded to retrieve your keys and walked through the door without so much as a moment's hesitation. This time, there wasn't even an ‘I love you’ or a goodbye kiss as a reminder that all was well. This time, the silence conveyed a message that was perhaps more profound than any gesture or sweet word.
In the end, the marriage was scarier than any Halloween costume.
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atlabeth · 8 months ago
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dance until we're bones
pairing: aaron hotchner x fem reader
summary: you and hotch both confront a lifetime of things left unsaid when a case forces your past into the light.
a/n: so i started this. two years ago. got 1k in and left it, came back now for some reason, wrote like a freak until it was done. lol. this is quite heavy and different than most things i usually write and it is SO much longer than expected but im very proud of it 🫶 i didn't really pay attention to the canon timeline so just know that reader and hotch were in their early and late 20s in law school (90s) and early and late 30s in present day (early 2000s). title from i lied by lord huron and allison ponthier
wc: 17.2k
warning(s): a lot of angst. typical bau case stuff, murder (familicide), implied/referenced past child abuse, reader and hotch go at it basically the whole time, character death, kidnapping, slight mention of drugging, injuries, mentions of blood. i wouldn’t say a happy ending but a hopeful one
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Hotch can barely stay awake. 
He got the call thirty minutes to 4 a.m, and if he hadn’t already been up, he would likely be in a much worse mood. He can only hope that the rest of the team has gotten used to rude awakenings at this point. 
It’s poor planning on his part—he already got out late due to extra paperwork, and once he got home, he found himself staring at the wall, and then staring at the ceiling. If he’s lucky, he’ll get to sleep on the jet. If things go the way they usually do, he won’t be out until their first night in a hotel. 
He started making calls to the team on his way to the office, but to no one’s surprise, he was the first one there. He had time to wash down a shitty office coffee and get started on a second one by the time everyone’s there. 
Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ all have coffees—JJ comes prepared with her own thermos, but Morgan and Prentiss fall victim to the BAU’s supply—Reid is fighting back yawns as he tries to fix a hastily made tie, Garcia is slightly less energetic than normal as she passes out files, and somehow Rossi looks the same as always. 
Hotch just hopes he’s put together enough to make the team feel better about being here at an ungodly hour. 
“Welcome, welcome, welcome,” Garcia greets, setting down the last folder in front of Reid before taking her spot next to Hotch at the front. “As lovely as it is to see all of you this morning, I’m afraid that we’ve got a grisly one on our hands, hence the hour.” 
“Great,” Prentiss mutters. “How bad is it?” 
“Three married couples have been murdered in St. Louis, Missouri in the past two months, with the most recent one happening yesterday,” Hotch says, and Garcia grimaces as she clicks onto the pictures. “Mom and dad are killed, but the children are spared.”
“Awful lot of similarities between the parents,” Morgan says dryly as he flips through the folder. “Looks like our killer has some family issues.” 
Reid nods. “The unsub likely stalks these families once they see the similarities. I’m guessing he was abused as a child, seeing as they kill the parents but keep the children alive.”
“Probably has a grudge against his father,” Prentiss remarks. “They make it out the worst every time.”
“There’s no method to the torture,” Morgan says. “It looks like he’s just trying to make it hurt as much as possible.” 
“Our guy probably isn’t trained in anything, then,” Rossi says. 
Reid flips to another page in the file. “Serial killers like to see their victims suffer. If he’s not torturing the mom physically, then he’s likely making her watch.”
“He doesn’t kill children, though,” JJ notes. 
“Maybe he thinks he’s doing them a favor,” Reid says. 
“The unsub sees himself in the kids?” Morgan suggests. “He’s doing what he didn’t get the chance to do.” 
“Whatever it is, we have to keep a tight hold on this,” JJ says. “The press eats this stuff up, and the last thing we need is a terrified city making it harder to do our jobs.”
“Especially with families being killed,” Morgan murmurs. 
JJ sighs. “I’ll draft something on the jet and make some calls when we land.” 
Hotch nods and he closes his file. “Wheels up in thirty. I hope you’re all ready for a long day.” 
-
The jet is silent the entire way to Missouri, full of sleeping agents trying to delay the inevitable—save for JJ scribbling down notes on a legal pad for the first thirty minutes, but even she knocks out sooner rather than later. Thankfully, Hotch manages to fit an hour in himself, though it doesn’t do very much for him. He spends the rest of the time reading through the case file. 
The team settles in quickly at the city’s precinct, and Hotch takes charge as usual. The uniforms are just as tired as they are, but he makes it work. Soon enough, JJ is off to work with the local liaison to craft a narrative, Reid has situated himself in an empty conference room to get to work analyzing maps with Garcia, and Hotch and the rest go to check out the crime scene. 
It’s brutal—much too brutal for this early, but Hotch forces the emotions out of it and gets to work questioning the present officers. Morgan follows suit, with Prentiss and Rossi going to investigate the rest of the house. 
They don’t learn much from the officers that they don’t already know. This is the most recent crime scene—George and Marsha Springfield, undeserving of such a grisly fate. Their two kids, 8 and 9, were off visiting their grandparents in Nebraska when it happened, and though they avoided the same fate, they’re going to deal with a lifetime of guilt. 
It’s all Hotch can think about as he examines the first body. The six children left to deal with the carnage, about their past and future marred against their control. 
All he can think about is Jack, and the dreary fate that awaits him if his father falls in the field.  
Hotch swallows his doubt and his guilt all in one and forces every thought out of his mind. He has to be unshakable for the team, for what’s left of these families, for a city on the brink of hysterics. 
They’ll find whoever did this. That’s what gets him through it. 
They spent early morning at the crime scene, collecting evidence and gathering information from the officers and trying to make sense of the killer’s motive. Progress is slow, partially because of the hour, but they make enough that Hotch feels comfortable moving onto the next job.
Their four a.m. start time was too early to go knock on doors and get interviews, but now it’s a more normal 10 in the morning. After a quick stop back at the station to share information with Reid, Garcia, and JJ and down a few cups of coffee, they get right back on the road.  
Hotch and Prentiss take one van and Morgan and Rossi take the other, splitting up to get what they can from interviews. It’s difficult working with kids, especially with such recent trauma, so they hold off on it for now, allowing the local uniforms that have been with them for a bit longer to set things up before the BAU tries anything. 
First they go to a neighbor’s house, then an alleged eye witness. They don’t get much other than personality reads, but it at least gives them the beginnings of a profile. The third place they hit is their earliest idea of a suspect. 
“Lucas Hartford,” Prentiss reads off the file one of the local officers had put together. “Thirty-nine, born and raised in St. Charles, Missouri. High school degree, but never got to college because he was in and out of jail.” 
“What has he been charged for?” 
“Booked a few times for public intoxication and convicted three times for assault. Once was for third-degree assault, Missouri’s version of aggravated assault,” she says. “He got out of jail a little less than a year ago, and it looks like he’s been living in St. Louis for some of that.”
“Assault and drinking is a far cry from serial killing, even aggravated,” Hotch says. “What makes him a suspect?”
“Both parents are dead,” she says. “And from the looks of it, it was not a happy home while they were around. He’s got a sister, so it fits the initial theory of trying to replicate his family.”
Hotch lets out a loose breath and nods. “We’ll start there. Try and get a story from this guy, build a profile, see if it matches the one Morgan and Rossi have made for their guy.”
“And hope we pin something down before more bodies show up,” Prentiss murmurs. 
They’re at their destination soon enough, and Hotch parks in an open spot on the other side of the road. His eyes dart around as they walk up to the front door, filing things away in the back of his mind. 
The house number and last name—1432, Hartford—on the mailbox plagued with rotting wood. What there is of a yard is poorly cut, and a small garden of wilted flowers has their own corner, victims of the winter weather. One car is parked slightly crooked in a small driveway—there’s no garage, so at least he’s probably home. Two potted plants sit on either side of the door, thankfully alive. 
“Remember,” Prentiss says as they come to a stop together, “be nice.” 
“I’m plenty nice,” he murmurs, and she huffs the slightest laugh. 
Hotch knocks on the door as Prentiss fishes around for her ID, and thankfully, they don’t wait long. The door cracks open after a few seconds to reveal a woman—certainly not their unsub, but something a whole lot more surprising. 
You.
Your brows furrow at the sight of him, and Hotch has to hold back his shock. 
You don’t live in St. Louis. And your last name certainly isn’t Hartford. 
“Aaron?” you ask in disbelief, and he doesn’t even have to look at Prentiss to know the questions he’s going to get later.
He says your name, able to control his surprise with only the slightest crease of his brows giving it away, then corrects himself just as quickly. “Miss Hartford. My name is SSA Aaron Hotchner, and this is SSA Emily Prentiss. We’re here with the FBI.” 
Your frown deepens as they show their IDs, and you actually take it from Hotch, skeptical eyes scanning over it for much too long. You glance back at him as you hand it back over. “What is the FBI doing here?” 
Emily clears her throat as she puts her credentials away. “We’re here investigating the latest murders in St. Louis. Can we come in?”
“The murders?” you ask with exasperation. “What— what murders? And what do I have to do with them?” 
Aaron notices the way your grip tightens on the door just the slightest bit, and a shred of sympathy strikes him before he speaks up.
“We’ll be able to explain everything if you let us in,” he says. 
You swallow thickly in your throat, your gaze darting back to Aaron before you finally nod. “Okay. Sure. Why not?”
You move and Hotch and Prentiss walk inside, gesturing with a hand towards your living room as you shut and lock the door behind them. “Take a seat. Uh— do you guys need anything? Water, or coffee, or…” 
You trail off, and Prentiss shakes her head. “Thank you, but that’s not needed.” She takes a seat on the sofa, but Hotch can’t stop himself from looking around the house. 
It’s a small place, one story—likely rented, seeing how paintings sit on countertops and mantels rather than hanging on the wall. It has a certain charm to it, but something is off about it all. 
Two styles clash—decorative pillows at odds with a filled and painted-over hole in the wall, an attempt at neutral tones ruined by dark articles of clothing scattered around, one person’s mess barely being held back by another’s cleaning efforts. You lived with someone else. Likely Lucas Hartford, possibly their unsub. 
“Are you gonna sit down, Aaron?” you ask, snapping him out of his profiling haze. “Or do you want to look around some more?” 
“I’m sorry,” he says, clearing his throat as he walks over and sits down in an open chair near Prentiss. “Just curious.” 
“That makes two of us,” you say, and you cross your arms as you look at him. He notices that you don’t sit down yourself, and there’s still a coldness in your eyes. “You’re FBI now?” 
He nods. “I had a change of heart.” 
You huff a laugh. “Thought at least one of us would be a lawyer by now. I guess not.” 
Hotch frowns, but Prentiss takes over before he can continue on that particular thread. “Miss Hartford—”
You interrupt by saying your first name, and it spurns something strange in his chest. It’s been over a decade since he’s heard your voice. “You can skip the formalities.” 
Prentiss nods and repeats your name. “As you know, we’re investigating the murders that have been occuring in the St. Louis area.” 
“And you think I have something to do with it?” you ask, the accusatory edge to your voice not lost on him. 
“Not you,” Hotch says. “Do you know a Lucas Hartford?”
“He’s my brother,” you say, and your frown deepens. “You’re not saying—”
“No,” Prentiss interrupts, “we’re not saying anything. We’re just asking.”
And just like that, your entire stance, your visage, it all changes. Hotch can sense the walls slamming up around you, and he immediately realizes two things: 
Getting information out of you is going to be much harder than planned, and you’re not anywhere near the same person you used to be. 
Hotch doesn’t know what he expects, really. He graduated with the intent to prosecute for at least a decade—now, he’s with the BAU. It’s not fair to assume you’re that same girl he met in law school. 
“My brother is not a murderer,” you state clearly.
“And we aren’t accusing him or you of anything—” she starts. 
“Me?” you interrupt, and you let out a harsh laugh. “I’m a suspect too?”
“If you would allow Agent Prentiss to finish her sentences, you would be less upset,” Hotch says. 
You glower at him, but you stay silent. 
“We aren’t accusing either of you of anything,” Prentiss finishes. “We’re just trying to gather information with what little we know.” 
“I know my rights,” you say, unflinching gaze still meeting Hotch’s. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”
Prentiss looks at him as well, but his eyes don’t leave yours. “That’s unfortunate to hear, Miss Hartford.”
“You know my name, Aaron. Use it.”
He does, and the letters feel strange on his tongue after so long. “This is a serious matter. This isn’t an accusation—we’re in the early days of this case and we need all the information we can get.” 
“Ask away,” you say. “Doesn’t mean I’ll answer.” 
“Lucas Hartford,” Prentiss starts. “He’s your brother?” 
You nod. “He lives with me.” 
He lives with me, not we live together. Makes him think that you pay for the place, he came knocking, and you didn’t have the heart to turn him away. 
“Why is that?” Hotch asks. 
You look at him, those scrutinizing eyes attempting to peer into his soul the same way they did all those years ago. But Hotch has changed since law school, and he’s much better at guarding his emotions. It seems you are, too. 
“He’s a student,” you finally say. “He goes to community college. I’m giving him a place to live while he gets his associate’s.”  
“Community college and living with his younger sister at 39?” Prentiss is trying to get information out of you, even if it isn’t in the kindest way. Your jaw clenches, and he knows her words have some effect. You’ve probably heard it more than once, the way things are going. 
“He’s getting his life back on track,” you say defensively. “I’m the only one left that can help him, so I am.” 
“What about your parents?” she asks. “Surely they’re a better option than this.” 
“Both dead,” you answer. “And no one else cares enough to help him. Are you here to do anything other than dig up my past?” 
Hotch feels Prentiss’s eyes on him, likely because it’s a step in the right direction for a really shitty reason, but he can’t look away from you. 
“Really?” 
He knows your parents are dead—it was in your brother’s profile, and by extension it applies to you—but it still hits him. 
He met your mother, had countless lunches and dinners with her. Helped her move out of her old house. Spent two Thanksgivings and a Christmas with her. 
And he didn’t even know when she died. 
You shrug and wrap your arms around yourself, and for the first time you look something other than defensive or standoffish. You look— well… sad. 
“Mom went a few years after you graduated,” you say, looking at Hotch. “Dad went last year.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Prentiss says. 
You nod your thanks, the notion a bit numb. 
“You never told me,” Hotch says with a slight frown.
“We haven’t talked in ten years,” you say. “Sorry that I didn’t know you still wanted updates.” 
Hotch tries to think of something to say in response, but Prentiss starts getting a call and she stands up. “Excuse me.” 
His jaw clenches for a moment as Prentiss ducks into a nearby bedroom, but he’s recovered by the time you look at him again. Your arms are crossed, but your expression is even. 
“I take it this was as much of a surprise for you as it is for me.” 
Hotch nods. “We came here looking for your brother.” 
“Does your team know about our history?” you ask simply.
“No.” 
“Do you want them to?” 
“…No.” 
You huff a laugh, your eyes narrowing a bit. “‘Course not. Probably counts as conflict of interest.” 
You wait another beat, then ask another question. “How’s Haley?”
“Good, last I heard,” he says, and then he hesitates. “We’re… divorced.”
Your eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
He nods. “This job isn’t easy for anyone.”
You look like you want to say more, but once again, Hotch is saved by Prentiss as she walks back in. Her phone is closed in her hand and she looks at him. “Morgan and Rossi have a lead. The chief wants everyone back at the precinct to go over everything we’ve found.” 
Hotch nods again and stands up. Prentiss takes her card out of her pocket and holds it out to you. 
“Thank you for your time, Miss Hartford. If you find out any information, or want to tell us anything else, please give me a call.” 
“Pass that along to your brother, too,” Hotch says. 
You reluctantly take the card, but you don’t look at it. “You can see yourselves out.” 
Prentiss nods. “Thank you again. Have a good day, and stay safe.” 
She leads the way, and Hotch follows after her. He fights the urge to look back before he shuts the door. 
Prentiss looks at him as they walk back to the car, and he can only imagine what is going through her mind. But eventually she just shrugs and pulls out her phone again. 
“Garcia?” Prentiss asks after she picks up. 
“You’ve reached the office of all that is holy.” Penelope’s voice comes out through the speaker, and Hotch can’t help the smallest twitch of his lips. “What’s up?” 
“Dig up everything you can find on Lucas Hartford,” Emily says, and her glance at Hotch does not go unnoticed. “And throw in his sister, too. He’s one of our only suspects, and we need to know if she’s in on it.” 
“On it,” Garcia says. “I’ll call you back when I’m done.” 
“You’re the best,” she says, and then she hangs up. They get back to the car, and it only takes Prentiss all of five seconds after they get in for her to start drilling him.
“Alright,” she says, buckling her seatbelt with a click before she sets her attention on him. “What was that back there? You two know each other?”
Hotch busies himself with his own seatbelt and starting the car, answering as casually as possible as the engine revs to life. “We were friends in law school.”
“Sure,” Prentiss nods. “The way you were around her, that’s not just ‘law school friend’ stuff.”
Hotch is once again reminded of how, sometimes, it was a downfall to constantly be around profilers. It was nearly impossible to keep anything a secret. 
“It’s nothing,” he says as he pulls back onto the road. “We knew each other, we fell apart, we’re here now.”
Emily hums. “Is it too far to ask if you were together?”
“Yes,” he says sternly, maybe a bit too hasty. “It is.”
“Fine,” she says breezily, and she looks out the window. “But that tension was thick.” 
Hotch knows what she’s thinking. Hasn’t he been with Haley since high school, what kind of history did you and him have, were you together, would he be okay to work this case— 
He doesn’t really want to answer any of them. You were a part of his past he hadn’t expected to resurface any time soon—if Hotch is being honest, he didn’t know if he would ever see you again once he graduated. Not after the way he broke things off.  
You’ve changed a lot. So has he. 
And now your brother is a murder suspect, and you could be covering up for him. 
That’s the only thing that should be on his mind. 
-
“For the last time,” you huff as you storm down the stairs, “I don’t want to deal with this.” 
“Because you know that Mia is a lying bitch!” Cleo exclaims, following after you. “I’m sick of you stealing my clothes!”
“I’m not stealing your clothes,” Mia scoffs in your wake, just behind Cleo. “They’re too ugly for me to want anyways. I bet I wouldn’t even fit into them.”
“You are! And you’re stealing my fucking jewelry, too!” she yells. “All of my shit is going missing, and I know it’s not Little Miss Law School, so it’s got to be you!” 
Mia draws out a mirthless laugh. “You are not accusing me of this.” 
“I don’t have anyone else to accuse!” Cleo shouts. 
They both look at you, and Mia says your name. “You have to settle this before I kill her.”
“Oh, I’ll kill you first!” she hisses. “At least I’ll get all my stuff back!”
You clench your jaw as your nails dig into your palms, and you’re about to bite back when the doorbell rings. You don’t even try to hide your sigh of relief. 
“That’s Aaron,” you say as you grab your coat and your bag from the table. “I’m leaving. If you kill each other, don’t get blood on the furniture.”
You don’t give them a chance to say anything before you rush to the door, open it, and shut it behind you. 
“You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” you breathe. 
“What’s going on in there?” Aaron asks, amused. 
“My roommates are fighting again.” You roll your eyes. “It doesn’t matter. You’re much more interesting.”
“You know this is a study date,” he says wryly, and you cut him off with a kiss. 
“Still a date,” you murmur against his lips. “And something seriously needed.”
Aaron chuckles as he wraps an arm around you, pulling you into his side, and the two of you walk to his car. “You’ve gotta get out of this house, honey.”
“I know,” you grumble. “But I can’t afford a place on my own.”
“Doesn’t have to be on your own,” he says as he opens the door for you. “It just has to be away from the girls that are making you miserable.”
“The lease ends at the end of the semester,” you sigh. “Just have to make it until then.”
“You know,” Aaron boxes you in against the car when you lean against the side of it, smiling softly at you, “I do live alone.”
“Oh yeah?” You ruffle his hair with your fingers and grin. “What are you proposing?”
He shrugs, letting his hands linger on your waist. “Just that you hate your roommates, and you don’t hate me. You could spend your time somewhere else.” 
“Careful,” you warn. “You keep saying things like that and we might not make it to the library.” 
“You keep saying things like that, and I might not mind,” Aaron muses. 
You grin as he leans in and kisses you again, once, twice, three times as your back hits the side of his car and you card your hands through his hair. Mia and Cleo are probably killing each other inside, but you don’t really care at this point. They’ve made your life hell for a semester and a half—they can bother each other for once. 
“Aaron,” you whisper against his lips, and he gets one more in between words, “I’ve got a test on Tuesday.”
“And today’s Sunday.” He nips at your neck and you laugh, your eyes falling shut as you lean your head back. “You’ll be fine, honey.”
“You have one on Monday,” you remind him, and he sighs. You feel his hot breath against your neck. 
“Ruining our fun in the name of schoolwork,” he says. “No wonder all your professors love you.”
“Everyone loves me,” you correct. “Including you.”
You steal one more kiss before you open your door yourself and get in, and Aaron lets out a breathy laugh.
“You’ve got that right.”
He closes your door then gets in the other side, and you’re already rifling through the glove box full of cassettes. You pull out the mixtape you made for him for your six month anniversary and pop it into the player, and Aaron smiles as the first few notes of Stairway to Heaven come on. 
“You’re a threat to my grades, y’know.”
“Maybe it’s all part of my plan,” you say. “Distract you with kisses to make sure I’m a shoe-in for this fellowship.”
“A dastardly plan,” he says with mock austerity. 
“I’ve been told I have to be more of a shark,” you muse. “Consider this me taking down my competition.”
Aaron laughs, and you find yourself smiling just at the sound of it. You love the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, how they soften just so, how he acts like himself around you, and not some perfected or stoic image that he thinks he needs. 
Falling in love with Aaron Hotchner has been the easiest thing in the world. 
“Don’t let anyone know,” he says, and he reaches over to intertwine your fingers together. “But I’ll happily fall to you every time.”
“As long as you don’t tell everyone how whipped I am for you,” you tease.
“Looks like we’ve both got reputations to keep up.”
“Looks like it.”
You share a smile, yours just on the edge of a grin as you try to bite it back. You hold hands the rest of the way, just soaking in each other’s presence with songs from bands you introduced to each other floating through the air. 
(It is a goddamn struggle to get any work done at the library with that face across from you the whole time.)
You had sky-high aspirations when you were younger. 
Ones that would make your teachers offer a smile and tell you to shoot a little lower, that would make your friends’ eyes widen, that your father would scoff at and your mother would humor you on just to get you to move past it. 
You didn’t listen. You’ve wanted to be a lawyer since you went on a class field trip to a courthouse in elementary school and saw all the attorneys hustling about, dressed to the nines, making last-minute deals outside the courtroom.  
They were just… so confident. So smart, so stoic, always knowing the answer to everything. The good ones had money, sure, but more importantly they had the power to change lives for the better. And as a kid that had to cover up bruises before the school day, nothing sounded more appealing. 
All you’ve ever wanted to do is help people. 
And as you sit in a cold, empty interrogation room, you can’t help but wonder where the hell you went wrong. 
You don’t want to be here, obviously. But you know the FBI won’t stop bugging you until you give them answers—you know Aaron Hotchner won’t stop bugging you. 
Because god— what are the odds? 
What are the fucking odds of your ex-boyfriend from a decade ago showing up at your door with a badge and an attempted case against your brother? 
It’s ridiculous, and it’s such bad luck that you think it could only happen to you. You’ve thought about Aaron Hotchner more than you’d like to admit over the years, especially when you found your old GW crewnecks, and the box of school supplies you used for a decade, and those photo albums from what should’ve been your golden years. 
It’s not like any of it matters, though. You only agreed to come in and talk because you want them off your back and you don’t want them poking around your house. You saw it in Aaron’s eyes—he was profiling you and your place the entire time. 
If the cops want to invade your privacy even further, they can get a goddamn warrant. 
Your thoughts are interrupted when the door opens, and you hold back a mirthless laugh, because of course it’s Aaron. He greets you with your name, and he has a file in his hands. You wonder if it’s on you or your brother. “Thank you for taking the time out of your day to come in and talk with us.”
“Well, you seem to think my brother is a murderer.” You cross your arms as you sit back. “I’m not really gonna let that stand.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t asked for a lawyer,” he says as he sits down across from you. 
“I don’t plan to be here for very long,” you respond tartly. “But don’t worry—that can always change. I know my rights.” 
“I’m the last person you need to tell that to.” Hotch sets the file down and looks right at you. Though he’s obviously older—more grizzled, more hardened; harsher, sharper lines that define his face; lips set in a taut, unflinching line—you still see that young man from law school. The passion, the care he puts into everything, the penchant for striped ties. 
You wonder what he sees when he looks at you. 
“Your last name wasn’t Hartford when I met you,” he says. “Why is it now?” 
“Not one for small talk,” you remark. 
“I never have been.” 
“I remember.” You hold his gaze. “It’s my mom’s maiden name. I changed it to put some distance between me and everything else.” 
You can practically see the gears of his brain working, neural pathways branching off with every word you say to make sense of it and reason a thousand different meanings from it. Aaron’s always been like that, but it’s tenfold now. 
You suppose one has to be like that, to try and get anywhere with the types of criminals they face. 
“How long have you been living in St. Louis?”
“Seven years. I’ve had that house for three.” 
“Rent or own?”
“Rent,” you scoff. “I don’t make enough for a down payment, and I don’t want a place tying me down.”
“What inspired the move?”
“Close enough to home to be familiar, far enough to not be.” 
“And home is?” 
“St. Charles,” you say, and you purse your lips. “Shouldn’t you already know all this?” You nod at the file in front of him. “It’s either on me or my brother, and we share a lot of the same info.” 
“We prefer to get our information from the source,” he says. 
“Sources can lie.” 
Aaron doesn’t waver. “And we can charge you with obstruction if it harms our investigation.” 
Your lips twitch for a moment, not entirely without heart. “Ask your questions, Aaron.” 
He opens the folder and slides the first picture over to you—your brother’s first mugshot, taken when he was only twenty-one. You still remember riding your bike to the station in the sweltering August heat to drop off his bail and pick him up. 
You had to catch the bus home together, you had to pay his fare, and his bail drained everything you’d been saving from your waitress job. But your dad refused to pay it, and you refused to be alone in that house any longer than you already had. 
You swallow the memory. It still tastes as sour as the day it happened. 
“Lucas Hartford is our main suspect,” he says. “He matches our initial profile—in and out of jail since his twenties, his parents are dead and he has an unstable home life, and he’s got a sister.”   
“None of those sound like questions,” you say. 
“Where is your brother?” he asks firmly. He’s given you a bit of leniency, but you can tell he’s getting tired of you. Some things never change, you think to yourself bitterly. 
“I don’t know,” you admit. 
“You don’t know,” he repeats. 
“I let him stay with me, and my only requirement is that he goes to his community college classes and stays out of jail,” you say. “He’s done both, so I stay out of his business.”
“And you’re telling me you haven’t questioned it?”
“I called him the other day after you left,” you say. “He didn’t pick up, and I didn’t get a call back until the next night.” 
Aaron’s eyes sharpen. “What did you say to him?” 
“I called to see where he was,” you say evenly. “I think you all are wrong, but I wanted to make sure he was okay.” 
“You didn’t tell him—” 
“No,” you interrupt, “I didn’t tell him about your investigation. If I think you’re wrong, why would I need to let him know?” 
He still has that look in his eyes, and you know you’re getting on his nerves with the constant interrupting, the constant backtalk. But he probably deals with much, much worse. 
“Good,” he nods. “You could be putting lives in danger if you do—including yours.” 
“Please,” you scoff. “He won’t hurt me. He never has.” 
“Why do you let him stay with you?” Aaron asks. “You’re straight-edge, he’s a borderline alcoholic that’s been in and out of jail for years. You’ve got a law degree, he never made it past high school. You’ve got your life together, his is falling apart.” 
“That’s why I do it,” you say. “Our parents are dead. I’m all he has left, and he’s all I have left. I want him to get better, so I’m trying my best to help him get there. How can Luke put his life back together if he’s got no support?” 
“That’s an awful lot of faith to put in someone who hasn’t earned it.” 
“I’ve gotten good at that over the years,” you reply. 
Aaron stares at you, and you stare back. You let the moment linger. You hope it stings, even fleetingly. 
“And you’re wrong, by the way.” 
“About what?” he asks. Again, unshaken. 
“I don’t have a law degree,” you say. “I dropped out.” 
And for some reason, that is what gets him. He frowns, and you wonder what it means that this is the most unexpected thing he’s gotten out of you. 
“Why? You were only a year out. You had stellar grades.” 
“My mom got cancer,” you say. “Luke was serving his second stint, Dad fucked off to some corner of the country to drink himself to death a couple months before. I was the only one left to take care of her, and I couldn’t do that from DC.” 
“I had no idea.” This is the first time he looks taken aback since you’ve met him again. “And she’s—”
“Dead,” you supply without waiting for an answer. You know he already knows it, but it still seems to have some effect on him. “Went a couple months after I was meant to graduate.” 
“…I’m sorry for your loss,” he says. He’s just repeating what his agent said at your house, but it feels genuine, at least. 
“It’s been a decade,” you say. “I’m just sorry it was her instead of my dad.” 
Aaron��s brows knit together again, and less work goes into covering it up this time. “You seem to have something against your father.” 
You huff a mirthless laugh. “Excellent profiling.” 
“Child abuse is common for serial killers,” Aaron says. “We find it’s typically the root of their problems later in life, or plays a part in their MO.” 
You stare at him again. This isn’t just an interrogation with Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner—it’s revealing parts of your past that you never told your ex-boyfriend Aaron. 
“Yeah,” you finally say. “Our dad beat us. Is that what you wanted to hear?” 
“You know th—” 
Aaron cuts himself off before he can finish whatever he wants to say, and he lets out a short sigh with a nod. “It’s valuable information for the profile.” 
The room feels a lot colder all of a sudden. “Sure.” 
He still looks like he wants to say more, but he bites his tongue as he takes the picture back and closes the file. 
“I’ll be back,” he says. “Would you like anything? Water?”
You shake your head and remain silent. He takes the folder and stands up, and you watch him the entire way to the door. Just before he can open it, you find words escaping without you thinking. 
“Look, Aaron,” you blurt out. He pauses, and he turns to look at you. “I know this is your thing, and this is your investigation, but I’m telling you—my brother and I don’t play any part in it.” 
“The profile—” 
“I don’t care what your profile says,” you interrupt. “He didn’t do it. He couldn’t have done it.” 
“He’s rough around the edges, I know. In and out of jail isn’t good for anyone.” You hold onto the edge of the table as you continue rambling, needing something to do with your hands. “But he’s working to get better, and he is not the kind of person to do something like this. If you believe anything I say, believe that.” 
“I suppose we’ll find out,” he says evenly. 
He leaves the room, and your hands fall into your lap as your nails dig into your palms. You don’t mean to be desperate, but you feel it. You’ve been defending Lucas at every chance, but you’re terrified of being wrong. You’re terrified that Aaron might be right—that he might be behind all of this. 
For his sake—and your sake, honestly, because you think you deserve to be selfish when he’s all you have left—you hope you’re right. 
You have to be right. 
The room feels even colder. 
Your stare drifts to the one-way mirror, where you know his team is watching. You saw the way Agent Prentiss watched Aaron when they came to your house—he said he doesn’t want them to know, but you think they already do. 
You wonder the kind of things they’ve come up with about you and him. 
-
Morgan whistles when Hotch walks out of the interrogation room. 
“She does not like you.” 
“Did you gather anything else?” he asks placidly. He sets your brother’s file down so he can fix his tie. 
“Abusive dad, dead parents, criminal background,” he says. “Lucas is looking like a stronger suspect. Oh— and she really doesn’t like you.” 
“If you don’t want to go back to building a file on your suspect, move on,” Hotch demands. 
Morgan shrugs, clearly unfazed, but he keeps his mouth shut. Reid, meanwhile, is still staring through the glass at you. You haven’t exactly relaxed, but you’re not as tense as you were while talking to Hotch. You pick at a loose strand of thread on your sweater, and when you pull it out, you let it fall to the floor. 
“Her brother feels like a prime suspect,” Reid murmurs. “I feel like I could just figure it all out if I could talk to him.” 
“I told Penelope to keep an eye on him,” Prentiss contributes. “She’s tracking his cards, the car registered in his name, even called the person in charge of the AA meetings he goes to to keep an eye out—everything. We’ll know if she gets anything.”
“Serial killers want to see the damage they’ve done,” Reid says. “Things are falling apart here—the whole city is terrified. He’s gotta be in St. Louis still.” 
“You’re sure that he’s still in the running.” Hotch glances back at you, and he knows he has to at least ask, for your sake. He doesn’t want to put you through anything more than he has to—not after what you’ve told him. 
And Hotch knows your past is your business—he just can’t believe you never told him. 
He’s turned over your relationship in his head just as many times in these past few days as he did the months after he ended things. 
“I’m sure, sir,” Reid says. “I’ve read over both their files, and Lucas matches with our preliminary profile. His stressor could have been his father dying.”
Morgan frowns. “Explain.”
“Family annihilators typically go after their own family for a myriad of reasons,” he says. “Paranoia, to cover up their lies, to free themselves from what they see as oppression, sometimes just pure jealousy.”
“He’s killing the parents but leaving the children alive,” Hotch says. “Sounds like a liberator to me.”
“That’s what I think,” Reid nods. “If Lucas has been banking on killing his father for that attempt at freedom, and then lost the chance?” He shrugs. “That could be why he started going for other families.” 
“Other fathers to take his place,” Morgan realizes, and he nods again. 
“You should talk to her, Spence,” Prentiss says. “You’ve got a handle on the profile, and you’re pretty good at conveying info. She seems like a reasonable person—just can’t accept her brother doing something like this.” 
“It’s typical for someone to deny their family member’s involvement,” Reid says. “No one wants to think their sibling is a murderer.” 
“If you lay it all out for her like that, with facts and the profile, I think she’ll listen.” Prentiss looks at Hotch. “She’s too closed off with you.”
“That’s how she is,” Hotch claims.
“Maybe,” she shrugs, “but it’s much easier to hate you than it is to hate Reid.” 
Hotch glares at her, and Reid clears his throat to insert himself back into the conversation. 
“I’d be happy to talk to her,” he says. “I know what it’s like to be in this kind of position—I can put her at ease, sympathize with her.” 
They all look at Hotch, and he wants to say no. He wants to be the one to get this out of you—some part of him wants as much time with you as possible. But he decides to swallow his ego. 
“Fine.” He nods, and he hands the folder to Reid. “I trust you to handle it.” 
Reid nods too, far too many times, and he takes the file. “Thank you. Uh— sir. I appreciate your trust.” 
“Yeah, yeah,” he says, but it has no bite to it, and Reid walks inside. 
He says your name and sits down across from you. “I’m Spencer Reid. I know we’ve already said it, but thank you for talking to us. It may not seem like it, but it goes a long way towards figuring out this case.”
You nod. You already seem more at ease than you were with him, and it makes Hotch… 
Not jealous, because that would be insane. But it makes him upset that he doesn’t understand you the way he used to—that he doesn’t hold that key to you anymore. God, it feels like he doesn’t know you anymore. 
Hotch doesn’t get why a side of his brain still thinks this way about you. 
“They sent a new one in,” you say. 
“You looked like you needed a break from Hotch,” Reid says. “Don’t worry. We all do sometimes.”
You huff a slight laugh and your posture eases, your expression softens just so. Reid was right, as usual. 
“I can imagine.”
He starts talking to you about the case, laying out all the facts, and though you don’t look happy, you don’t cut him off like you cut Hotch off. 
“She’s pretty,” Morgan offers, glancing at Hotch. “And stubborn. I see why you like her.” 
“Shut up, Morgan,” Hotch mutters.
He chuckles and holds his hands up, and focuses back on the interrogation. 
The rest of it passes in silence, save for the occasional input from Prentiss or Morgan to elaborate on a point. You talk much more with Reid than you did with Hotch, and you don’t stare daggers at him the entire time. 
Time doesn’t always heal all wounds, he thinks. 
When Reid is finishing up inside with you, Morgan glances back at Hotch. “You think she’s part of this?”
He shakes his head. “No. She has no reason to kill, nothing to gain. She talks about her past too plainly—it hurt her, obviously, but it hasn’t taken over her life.”
“What about her brother?” Prentiss asks. 
“The more we learn, the more I suspect him,” Morgan says. 
She nods in agreement. “We just have to find him.”
Hotch isn’t sure yet. 
But for your sake, he hopes his gut feeling is wrong. 
-
Spring has finally sprung in DC, and you couldn’t be happier. 
It’s hard to feel down on your walks to class when the birds are singing and the sun is beaming down on you, when you see students sitting on blankets reading and talking and actually enjoying life for once. 
You’re two years into law school, and it feels like you’ve spent 90% of your time studying in either the library or your room. A bit of a sad existence, but it’s made better with Aaron. 
You’re laying down on a blanket—one you crocheted yourself in undergrad—resting your head on Aaron’s chest as he reads a book, the spring sun shining down on you. It feels like the first moment of relaxation either of you have had since classes started, and you chose to spend it together in the University Yard. 
You should probably be studying or doing some kind of homework, but you don’t care. It has been too damn long since you’ve gotten to just sit around and exist with Aaron, and you’ve got at least a couple days until your next quiz. That’s far enough away for you. 
It’s been a rough semester for both of you, between classes and endless homework, between your internship and your endless family issues—Luke is two years in, and his parole was denied, and your dad still insists on being the reason you stay on campus year-round. 
You don’t think you’re pushing it when you say Aaron’s support has been the only reason you’ve gotten through it, your grades—and your mental state—relatively unscathed. 
Aaron says your name, and you hum. 
“Are you listening?” he asks. 
“Of course,” you say. 
“Your eyes are closed.” 
“I don’t need my eyes to listen,” you say wryly. “What’s up?” 
You feel him tense for a moment, feel him adjust his position slightly. 
“I got a call from Haley,” he says carefully. 
Your eyes open and you frown. 
You know the name, but only in the way that you talked a bit about your past relationships while you were still getting to know each other. She was his high school girlfriend, and it was a big deal then, but they broke up before college because they both wanted different things.
It shouldn’t be a big deal now. But he’s treating it like one, and that makes you hesitate. 
“Yeah? What’d she want?”
“…She’s in DC for the weekend,” he says. “Some conference for school. She asked if we could grab a coffee or something and catch up.”
You finally sit up, his hands falling from where he’d been playing with your hair, and you look at him.
“Your high school girlfriend wants to catch up.”
“An old friend wants to catch up,” he corrects. “I haven’t really talked to her since we graduated high school.” 
“…Okay,” you say slowly. “Do you want to see her?” 
He shrugs. “I thought it would be nice.”
“Do you think she thinks it’ll be more than nice?” you ask. 
“I don’t know,” he admits. “I don’t even know how she got my landline. I think my mom might have given it to her.” 
Your eyebrows rise. “Your mom gave your ex-girlfriend your number?” 
“It’s the only way I can think of her getting it,” Aaron shrugs. “Like I said, I haven’t talked to her since graduation.” 
You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to think as you look at Aaron. 
You’ve met his mom a dozen times. You’re insistent that she doesn’t like you, despite Aaron’s assertions towards the opposite—it wouldn’t surprise you if she gave this girl his new number in an effort to push him in a new direction. 
But that train of thought feels a little crazy. You’re confident in your relationship with Aaron—you love him, and he loves you. God, he made an off-handed comment about marriage the other day. You’re not threatened by a girl from his past wanting to catch up. 
“Go for it,” you finally say. 
He frowns, like he was expecting the worst. “Really?” 
“I trust you, Aaron,” you say. “You say she’s just a friend, I believe it.” 
You lean forward to kiss him, your eyes fluttering shut, and it lasts much longer than it should. When you pull away, Aaron’s smiling softly at you. 
“Thank you,” he says. 
“‘Course,” you say, tipping a shoulder. “I’m known to be rational from time to time.” 
He chuckles, and you smile as you lay back down on his chest. Soon after, you feel the weight of his hand on your shoulder. 
“I love you,” he says. It feels more like a reminder than anything. 
You entangle your fingers together and press a kiss to the back of his hand. 
Sometimes you need reminders. 
“I love you too.” 
-
“Four more bodies,” Prentiss mutters. “God.” 
“You can say that again,” Morgan murmurs. 
Hotch is silent as he examines the father’s body. They’ve been so busy the past few days trying to nail down the profile, both on their unsub and geographically, that this happening again hadn’t been at the top of their list. There was a month between the first two, and two weeks between the second and third. 
No one expected this to happen so soon. 
The entire family was killed this time, and once again, the parents look similar to the other victims. It’s the work of their unsub, no doubt. 
Hotch and the team had already been at the precinct for an hour going over all the information they’d found when they got the call at 8 in the morning, the bodies discovered by the family’s maid when she arrived for work. 
An entire family, parents and children, senselessly slaughtered for one man’s deranged quest for liberation. 
Hotch has been in this business for a long time, seen things that most people only imagine in nightmares, and he still has to take a step back when children are involved. 
He sees Jack in every single one. He can’t help it. 
Hotch took Prentiss and Morgan with him to the crime scene—JJ has a kid, Rossi had a kid, and he just didn’t want Reid to see it. They’ll all be more valuable working together back there anyways, and it’s imperative that JJ controls the narrative before this can break to the press. 
Again, Prentiss talks to the officers at the scene and Morgan helps him examine the bodies. After all, there are double the amount. 
“It just doesn’t make sense,” Morgan says as he stands back up. “Our guy is killing surrogate parents to get back at his own, fine. Dad was tortured again, mom was killed with a bullet. But bringing the kids into it isn’t his thing.” 
He uses a gloved hand to gingerly lift the father’s arm away from his body so he can examine the underarm. “Look at this. He’s been stabbed at least ten times, and his arm’s nearly severed from his body.”
“And his neck,” Morgan mutters. “He’s half decapitated.” 
Hotch sets the arm back down. “The unsub always wants the father to suffer, but this is a new level.” He looks up at Morgan. “I don’t think he has a reason for killing the children. I think he’s getting sloppy—he’s getting overwhelmed by his anger.” 
“You think he’s devolving,” he says, catching on. 
“Something tells me we’re coming to the end of the line,” Hotch says. “Whatever he does next, he’s going out with a bang.” 
-
The mood in the precinct has fallen dramatically since the last hit. The uniforms aren’t happy that they’re working around the clock, the chief isn’t happy that the BAU hasn’t figured everything out yet, and the city isn’t happy that ten murders have been committed with what they think is no end in sight. 
JJ and Rossi have gone out to bring in the suspect that he and Morgan found together for the sake of covering their bases—they still haven’t been able to find Lucas, despite Reid calling you every day to check in and upping police presence around the city. 
The rest of the team sits around a conference table, over a dozen coffees between them, going over everything and racking their brains for information. 
“This just isn’t matching up,” Reid complains. “Lucas has just been at home for the first two, but for the third and the fourth he’s got alibis.” 
“What are they?” Hotch asks. 
“He was on the road all night when the third happened,” Reid says. 
“And how do we know?” Prentiss asks. 
“Garcia picked up his debit card being used a couple times from Des Moines back to St. Louis when the third set of murders happened,” Morgan contributes. “Must’ve been a road trip, because there are stops at a gas station, a restaurant, and a rest stop.” 
“The last one happened during an AA meeting he was supposed to attend,” Prentiss says. “I called the leader and she said he was there.”
“Do we have footage from any of those places?” Hotch asks. “We need to make sure.” 
Reid nods. “I asked her to check it all this morning, including the AA meeting. She must still be going through it—I can’t imagine it’s easy to get all that access.” 
“What about a second unsub?” Morgan suggests. 
Hotch shakes his head. “These are all meant to be personal for liberation—catharsis. Involving someone else would take away from the feeling.” 
“What about your suspect?” Prentiss asks, looking at Morgan. “Could he be the unsub?” 
“Patrick Fenton,” Morgan says, and he shrugs. “He fits it—dead parents, jail time, child of abuse. But he’s got two sisters, and his parents died when he was in his twenties from a car accident. I don’t see why he would start killing almost twenty years later.” 
“Maybe we’ll figure something out in questioning,” Reid says hopefully. 
Morgan’s phone suddenly goes off, and he hits the button to answer. “You’re on speaker, babygirl.” 
“I found the security footage from those three places, the ones that Lucas was at on his supposed road trip when the third family was hit,” Garcia says, voice slightly tinny through the phone.  
“And?” Hotch asks. 
“I was getting there,” she says. “Lucas wasn’t there. He wasn’t on any of the footage—his sister was.” 
Hotch frowns. You? 
“You’re sure?” he asks. 
“I’m always sure,” Garcia responds. “And I don’t know if Spencer is there, but he also wasn’t there at the AA meeting—I combed through the whole meeting, and he didn’t show up at any point. Just another guy that looked like him.” 
“And you’re sure about that, too?” Hotch asks again. 
“What is with this questioning of my abilities?” she asks, offended. “Yes. I’ve stared at so many pictures of Lucas Hartford over these past few days that I’ve got him burned into my brain.” 
“Thanks, babygirl,” Morgan says. “We’ll call back if we need anything.” 
“And you’re always welcome in this house of miracles,” she muses. Morgan chuckles before he hangs up. 
“Lucas gave her his card,” Reid realizes. “It’s an easy alibi, but it falls apart when you look into it even a little bit.” 
“Probably seemed solid to him at the time,” Morgan says. “He doesn’t seem like a detail oriented guy.” 
Prentiss frowns. “That means he’s back on the chopping block. We can put him at the scene of every murder.” 
Hotch leans over the table and grabs Lucas’s file, and he pulls out the page compiling his family. “His father died a year ago from liver failure. Hartford got out of jail nine months ago after a six year stint.” 
“If he’s been plotting some elaborate murder of his father for years, just to get out of jail and find out he drank himself to death?” Morgan shakes his head. “He’d snap. It doesn’t feel like justice.” 
“He thinks he’s saving the kids of these parents that he kills,” Reid says. “He sees himself in them—he can’t look past his own childhood, and he assumes those kids must want their parents dead too.” 
“He’s trying to get back at his dad,” Prentiss says. “We know that.” 
“But that’s not his main goal,” Reid insists. “If his dad died when he was a kid, the abuse would have stopped. His mom wouldn’t be the battered wife anymore, and he wouldn’t be the battered kid.” 
“His goal has always been protection,” Hotch realizes. “Yes, he’s getting his revenge by killing his father over and over, but ultimately, he’s trying to save himself.” 
“But he didn’t anticipate the kids being home this time,” Prentiss says. “He had to kill them too.” 
“If he‘s seeing himself in these children, recreating what he never got to do, then that means that he effectively died in this scenario,” Reid says. 
“He didn’t get what he wanted,” Morgan says. “That’s gonna take a toll on him.”
“He’s coming to the end of the line,” Prentiss nods. 
Hotch’s brain is working overtime as they work information off of each other. They’re so damn close—they just need the last piece of the puzzle. If they find Lucas’s next victim, they find him. 
“His next crime will probably be his last before he goes out himself,” Reid says. 
“You think it’ll be a murder-suicide?” Morgan asks. 
“It’s common with family annihilators,” Reid says. “Hell, it’s common with anyone who sees no future beyond their murders. It’s their way out.” 
And then the answer hits Hotch like a ton of bricks. Reid is still rambling next to him. 
“If his dad was still alive, I’d say he would be the target. But the only one left—”
“—is his sister,” Hotch grits out, and he’s dashing out of the conference room before anyone can stop him. 
“Hotch!” Morgan yells, and he turns to Prentiss with wild eyes. “Where the hell is he going?” 
“The last victim,” she says as she starts following him. “The one person he never managed to save.” 
“Goddammit,” Morgan curses, and he grabs his phone from the table, dialing Garcia as fast as she can while he runs. Reid is close behind him.  
“What’s up, sugar?” she asks. “Got anymore leads?” 
He laughs dryly. “We’ve got a big one, babygirl. Lucas has finally reached the end of the road — he’s going for his sister. I need you to call JJ and Rossi and—” 
“Send them the Hartford address and fill them in on everything?” she interrupted, and he could hear her fingers flying across the keyboard. “Already on it.” 
“What would I do without you?” he asks. 
“Be half the man and twice as sad,” she says. “I’ve got to call JJ. Be safe, my love.” 
“Always,” he responds, and he hangs up. 
Hotch distantly registers Prentiss stopping by the chief to alert him of what’s going on, because he’s in the fog of a rampage. He’s in the driver’s seat before he knows it, starting the car, and he sees Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid running out after him. 
Prentiss takes shotgun and Morgan and Reid file into the back, and they’ve all got Kevlar vests in their hands. He didn’t really think of that through his haze. 
“We’ve got an extra one for you,” Reid says, reading his mind. 
“Thank you. I— I know what you’re all thinking—” Hotch starts, but Prentiss shakes her head.
“Just drive.” Her lips set themselves in a taut line. “We’ve got a murder to stop.”  
And he does. 
-
You sit on the curb, surrounded on either side by a box of your things. Packing up everything made you realize how little you had at his place. You thought you’d integrated yourself into his life fully, but it really just took an afternoon while he was in a lecture to disappear. 
Summer has fully turned to winter, and you’re as morose as the weather. This side of town looks so depressing without the warmer months to pick it up—the sidewalks are lined with dead trees, the grass is shriveled up and yellowing, and you feel like you’re living in grayscale. 
A shiver runs through you, the weather only partly to blame. 
Amy is supposed to pick you up, but as usual, she’s running late. You don’t know if it’s a personal issue or DC traffic has just struck again, but it doesn’t really matter. Either way, you’re stuck here, and your bad luck seems intent on making it worse, because you watch a familiar car pull around the corner. 
It parks a distance away—there’s no space in front of the complex, and he always complained that they didn’t do assigned spots—and you have to hold back a scornful scoff. 
Of course you have to deal with this now. 
Aaron picks up his pace when he gets out of the car, surprise—and what you think is shame—painted on his face. He says your name when he slows down. 
“You’re already packed.” 
You shrug. “I’m nothing if not efficient.” 
“I could’ve helped you with all this,” Aaron says, frowning. 
“Why do you think it’s done already?” you ask. 
His throat bobs and he opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.
“Let me save you the pain of chivalry,” you say. “I’ve got a friend coming to pick me up. I’ve already found a place. I called your property manager the other day and argued my way out of the lease, but I still paid my next month. You’re welcome.” 
“You didn’t have to do that,” he says. 
“You know what they say about a clean break,” you intone.  
“I’m sorry,” Aaron tries again. To his credit, he looks like he means it. Against his credit, it’s about the fiftieth time you’ve heard it from him in the past two weeks. 
“I shouldn’t have let you get that coffee,” you say with a grim smile, “should I?” 
His lips pull into a taut line. “I didn’t cheat on you.” 
“I know,” you say. It’s the one thing you do believe. “I just don’t think you ever fell out of love with her.” 
Mercifully, you see Amy’s car pulling up in the distance. She’s your only friend with an SUV, so at least your boxes will fit. 
“My ride’s here,” you say as you stand up, and you pick up one of your boxes. Amy throws on her hazards and she gets out to open her trunk. 
“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she breathes. “Traffic was awful, and Jake has been so annoying—” 
“Don’t worry about it,” you say with a slight smile as you put your box in the back. “You’re already doing me a huge favor.”  
“I want us to still be friends,” Aaron calls. When you turn back, he has your other box in his hands, his expression shamelessly desperate. Amy glares daggers at him. 
“Why?” you ask innocently. “So I can go without talking to you for ten years, ask you for a coffee when I’m in town, and then get you to leave Haley?” 
“That’s not what happened,” he says, but you’re already shaking your head. 
You take the box from him and smile thinly. 
“Have a good rest of your life, Aaron. I hope it doesn’t involve me ever again.”
-
You let out a noise of frustration as you struggle to get the key into the lock, gritting your teeth as you try to fit it in. It’s always been finicky, but you just don’t have the energy to deal with this tonight. Thankfully, just when you start getting annoyed, you get it open. 
You get a few steps in before your eyebrows rise, the sight of your brother at the kitchen table a surprise. He’s got his head in his hands, and your surprise turns to concern.
“Lucas,” you say with a slight smile, shutting the door behind you, “I didn’t know you were gonna be home tonight.”
His attention shoots to you immediately as he says your name, and he looks slightly out of it. “I was wondering when you were gonna get back.”
“Stole the words right out of my mouth,” you say wryly, and you ruffle his hair with your free hand as you walk past him. He swats your hand away in brotherly protest, and you snort. “This place has been quiet without you. Well— except for the cops. They were pretty loud.” 
“They haven’t been back, have they?” 
You look back at him and notice his leg is bobbing up and down insanely fast, and he keeps scratching at the soft wood of your table with his nail. 
Your smile fades. “Don’t tell me you’ve been drinking.”
“Of course I haven’t,” he insists, but you turn on the kitchen light, then move closer to peer into his eyes against his protests. 
“At least you’re not high,” you murmur, taking one last look before you pull away. “And stop ruining the table. I need it to last for the next ten years.” 
He huffs, and you can practically hear him roll his eyes, but he stops. 
“Did you go to class today?”
“You don’t have to act like Mom,” Lucas says, crossing his arms again with another huff. 
“And you don’t have to act like a child.” You roll your eyes as you set your tote bag on the countertop and begin unpacking the groceries you bought. “I’m asking you about your day—that’s definitely not acting like Mom.”
“Yes,” he mocks. “I went to class.”
“Good.” You glance back at him. “I’m proud of you, Luke. You’ve been making progress.” 
His smile is a bit thin, but he nods. “Thanks. How was work?”
You scoff and shake your head as you put a couple things in the pantry. “Don’t even get me started. I swear, Marie’s going to get me fired someday if she keeps her bullshit up.”
“She’s still on it?” Luke asks, and you can’t help but smile a bit. 
“Don’t act like you know what I’m talking about,” you say. “Just agree with me.” 
“I agree with you,” he says. 
“That’s it,” you muse. 
Your eyes fall back on your bag, and you’re reminded of what you meant to do next time your brother showed up. 
“Oh—” You go back over to the kitchen table for your bag and pull out your wallet. You slide a debit card out and hold it out to your brother. “Thanks for letting me use it while I was up in Des Moines. I finally got my bank to get rid of the freeze on my card.” 
“…Of course,” he says, and he takes it back. “Glad I could help.” 
“I’ll pay you back, obviously,” you say as you get back to your groceries. “I just have to wait to get paid again.” 
“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “And uh— you never answered me. Did the cops come by again?” 
You huff a mirthless laugh and shake your head. “You have nothing to worry about, Luke. I think they finally realized they were barking up the wrong tree.”
“…Good,” he says. “I can tell they’ve stressing you out.”
“Like that looks any different than my normal state,” you say wryly. “Besides, it wasn’t that bad.” 
You recall the shock you felt when you opened the door to Aaron, and how nervous you were on the drive to the precinct. It’s almost been a decade, and yet he still has an effect on you that he has no right to. 
“You remember that guy I dated when I was still in law school? Aaron Hotchner?”
“I think? I was in jail, so.” 
You roll your eyes. “I know I told you about him when I visited you while we were together.” 
“I remember you telling me how he broke your heart,” Luke says. 
“That’s not what I’m saying.” 
“Then what are you saying?” 
“That he’s with the FBI now. The BAU,” you enunciate, and you huff. “He’s one of the guys on this case, coincidence that it is. They came here—they even brought me in for an interview.”
He frowns. “What’d you say?”
“The truth.” You pull your cutting board and a knife out of a drawer and get to work washing your vegetables. “That I didn’t know anything, and neither of us are involved in either way.” You shake your head with a sigh. “They must believe it, because they haven’t come back.” 
“What have they said about me?” he asks. 
“I’m not supposed to say.” You roll your eyes. “I think you’re innocent, but I could get charged with obstruction, and I really don’t feel like dealing with that…” 
You trail off into a sigh as you finish washing the peppers and set them on a towel. “I hope they find whoever’s doing it, though. It is freaking me out that there’s a murderer out there.” 
You pick up your knife and start cutting them up—they’re not the freshest, but it’s all Kroger had after work—and you glance back at Luke. “You really shouldn’t be going out so often with this going on, y’know. I don’t want you getting hurt.” 
“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’m careful.” 
“I doubt that,” you say wryly. “Still, though. I worry about you.” 
“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” he asks. “I’m your older brother.” 
“I worry about everything,” you say. “It’s my thing.” 
You hear him huff a laugh and you smile a bit to yourself. You get through your first pepper before you remember what’s been nagging at you your whole ride home. 
“Oh— can you get the TV?” you ask. “Channel 8, I think. Marcy is getting interviewed for something with her nonprofit, and I told her I’d record it for her.”
Lucas doesn’t respond, though you hear the scrape of the chair as he gets up. 
“Thank you,” you say. “I think they have a fundraiser coming up or something…” you trail off and shake your head as you scrape the cut peppers onto a plate. “God. I need to start paying attention in the break room.”
Another few seconds pass, and you don’t hear the television switch on. You huff and turn your head slightly. “Luke, I’m making dinner tonight. This is the least you could do.” 
“I’m sorry.”
The words come out as a murmur, but you can tell he’s much closer than he was before. 
You don’t even get the chance to turn around before something crashes against your head and your vision goes dark. You feel yourself fall to the ground, and your head hits the floor hard. 
Then, there’s nothing. 
-
Hotch has been breaking every speeding law there is. 
The station isn’t too far from your house, but it’s still too far. All he can see is your body, crippled and lifeless just like every other victim they’ve had to look at. 
It should never have gotten to this point. Lucas has been a suspect for the first day, but they looked to other suspects, got caught up in statements from neighbors and the kids of the victims. 
If Hotch just found him and booked him on the first day, this wouldn’t be happening. Your life wouldn’t be in danger. 
His hands tighten on the steering wheel. 
“I seriously think we’re looking at a murder-suicide if this gets to play out,” Reid speaks up from the backseat. “This is his way of ending this for both of them—the ultimate protection of his sister.”
“No one can hurt her if she’s dead,” Morgan mutters. 
“Hotch,” Prentiss starts, treading carefully, “are you sure you’re okay to lead this?”
“Yes,” he says, though he wants to say what kind of question is that?
You were together a lifetime ago in law school, yes, and he might still have feelings for you that he didn’t even realize were there, yes—but he’s an agent and a professional before all of that. 
It doesn’t matter that you have history. It doesn’t matter that you likely hate him. 
It doesn’t matter that he thought he was going to marry you one day, and then was watching you drive out of his life after he got back with his high school girlfriend another day.  
Aaron Hotchner is not going to let you die. It’s as simple as that. 
Hotch’s phone rings and he picks it up and flips it open immediately. “Talk to me, Garcia.”
“JJ and Rossi are on their way,” she says. “Are you headed to their place?” 
“Yes,” he says, and he puts it on speaker. “I’ve got Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid with me still.” 
“Do you think there’s anywhere else he could be?” Morgan asks. “If he’s going to kill her, he might not want to do it in this house.” 
“Already a step ahead of you, my love,” she says, and he can hear mouse clicks through the phone. “They grew up in a house in St. Charles—it’s abandoned, from the looks of it, some place on the outskirts. Never got another buyer after the past owners moved out. I’m sending the address to Emily right now.”
Prentiss gets a buzz on her phone and she nods in confirmation after flipping it open. Hotch immediately switches lanes and makes a U-turn, his jaw clenching. 
“Tell me how to get there, Prentiss,” he says. “He’s there.”
“You need to get on I-70,” she says, and then her brow furrows. “How do you know?”
“He’s killed everyone else in their homes because he sees it as the source of it all. His sister’s rented place isn’t personal enough.” Hotch shakes his head. “Why wouldn’t he want to go back to theirs to end it all?”
“Hotch.” Penelope’s voice rings out in the car, and he doesn’t even realize he forgot to hang up. 
“What?”
“Be careful,” she says, and he rushes to turn it off speaker and press it to his ear. “I… I know how important this is to you.”
Hotch’s throat bobs and his eyes burn with the beginnings of tears. He blinks them away—he can’t be weak now. He can’t let his team see him be weak now. “Dare I ask how?”
“I found an article about GW’s mock trial team,” she says. “Kind of went down a rabbit hole from there.”
Somehow, he huffs the slightest laugh. It feels like a lifetime ago—it honestly is, at this point. Before he saw carnage and gore on a daily basis and tried to solve it, when he thought the DA’s office was the endpoint, when he came home to your smiling face every night. 
And now… 
Hotch’s spine somehow stiffens, and he knows the other three in the car are watching him. He can’t decide whether he cares or not. 
“Thank you, Garcia.”
“No problem,” she says, and he can almost hear her blink in the pause. “Uh— for what, exactly?” 
For the memory, he wants to say. But he doesn’t. He can’t, not right now, so he tries his best to snap out of it. 
“Keep a watch on the patrol cars,” he says instead. “Update JJ and Rossi on our plan, but tell them to stay on their path. I’m sure I’m right, but we need to cover our bases.” 
“Of course, sir.” He hears her fingers flying across the keys. “I’ve got yours and the squad cars’ locations up—I’ll call them now.” 
“Thank you,” he says. 
“Good luck, Hotch,” Garcia says softly. 
Hotch hangs up before he gets too emotional. Penelope has a way of bringing that side out of him. 
“We’ll get him,” Prentiss assures. She’s been watching him this whole time, he can feel it—she’s been attuned far too keenly on this entire part of the case involving you and him. “And we’ll save her.” 
His knuckles go white around the steering wheel, and for once, Hotch can’t find the words. 
-
It feels like your head is slowly being cranked in a vice when you eventually wake up, a dull but insistent pain. Your arm stings too, but you don’t know why. 
You blink a few times as you try to figure out where you are, a low groan slipping out as you fully come back into consciousness, and you move to rub the grogginess out of your eyes. 
Your arms don’t move. You try again, panic spiking your heart for a moment, and that’s when you realize you’re in a chair—tied to a chair, your wrists bound together behind you and your ankles bound to the chair legs. 
Now the panic fully sets in. There’s a murderer in St. Louis, but you don’t fit the victimology from what you’ve seen, but does any of that fucking matter when you’re stuck in something out of a horror movie?
Lucas was the only one there with you. So either he’s in the same situation, or he—
“You’re finally awake,” a voice murmurs. When he comes into view and sits down across from you, your heart stops. 
For a moment, all you can do is stare at your brother with wide eyes. You see the gun in his hand through your peripherals, but you don’t look away from his gaze. 
“I was worried I was too rough,” he says softly. “But you’ve always been resilient.” 
“Lucas,” you breathe. “What the fuck is this?”
“It’s finally going to be over,” he says, ignoring your panic. “We’ve been hurting our whole lives because of that bastard of a father, and I can finally make it all stop.” 
Your brother is fucking crazy. He’s fucking crazy, and he’s going to kill you.
You’ve spent two weeks telling Aaron he was crazy and your brother was innocent, and now he’s going to be proven right when he finds your dead body. 
You try to tamp down on your panic. You don’t have a law degree, sure, and you never officially practiced, but you’ve been a good speaker, a persuasive one, all your life. 
And if there’s ever been a fucking time to be persuasive, it’s now. 
“You don’t have to do this,” you whisper. “We— we can talk if you want to talk.” You tug at your ankle restraints. “This is unnecessary.” 
He shakes his head. “I know you. You’d run.” 
“Come on.” You manage as much of a smile as you can. “I’ve always been there for you, Luke. Why would this be any different?” 
“…You’ve always been too nice,” he says, and he sets the gun down on his leg. At least he doesn’t have his finger on the trigger. “Anyone rational would’ve kicked me to the curb when I asked you for help.” 
“You’re my brother,” you whisper. “I— I love you, Lucas. I’d never do that to you.” 
“Family’s supposed to be everything, right?” He shakes his head. “You were the only one of us that understood that. You were there to pick me up every time my sentence was up.” 
“I’ve always believed in you,” you say. 
He huffs a monotone laugh as he stares at the ground. “You’re definitely the only one.”
You shake your head. “That’s not true.” 
“Mom didn’t care enough to stop anything,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “And Dad wished I was dead every goddamn day. He didn’t have the guts to do it himself, but he definitely tried.” 
You can’t defend your parents. Your dad’s a piece of shit, and your mom didn’t stop anything he did—but you could never find it in yourself to fully hate her because he hurt her too, with more than just bruises. 
“I’ve dreamt of killing our dad every day for twenty years,” Lucas says. “And that old bastard had to fuck me over one last time and die while I was in jail.”
You remember when you got the news. You were next of kin—your mother was dead, and your brother was incarcerated—so you got the call from the hospital. You deliberated for hours before you bought a plane ticket to Montana—apparently that was where he fucked off to drink himself to death—and you don’t know if you’ve ever felt more numb than when you were sitting in some lawyer’s office, listening to him drone on about his will and how his estate would be divided. 
“So you killed all of those people?” you asked. “Because you didn’t get to kill our dad first?” 
“I was saving those kids!” Luke yells, and you shrink in on yourself. “Saving them before their parents could fuck them up like ours did to us!” 
“You don’t have to do this,” you repeat. “You’re just letting Dad win. Proving every shitty thing he said about you.” 
“And that’s the zinger, isn’t it? Luke laughs and shakes his head. “He was right. We’re a whole family of fuck-ups. An alcoholic abuser, a battered wife, a nonstop jailbird, and you…” He shakes his head with a sigh. “You should be out there prosecuting people like me.”
“He ruined us,” Luke murmurs. “And I’m finally going to fix it.” 
All you can do is stare at your brother, wide and teary eyed. You can’t find the words, but you don’t have to. 
Police sirens begin to filter through the air as they get closer, and Luke huffs. “Of course.” He eyes you. “Don’t go anywhere.” 
“I wouldn’t dare,” you say weakly. 
When he leaves to peer out the front door, you take a second to look at your surroundings. It takes a second because they’re so decrepit, but you could never forget. 
Luke brought you back to your childhood home—the place in St. Charles, rotten down to its bones. It’s abandoned by now, but the atmosphere is nothing less than oppressive. There’s a reason you graduated high school a year early, why you never came back once you got to college—except with Aaron, to help your mom move her things out. 
You refuse to die here. Even if you have to claw your way back through the gates of Hell inch by inch—you will not die here. 
You hear footsteps, and when Lucas comes back in, he has a crazed glint in his eye. He shakes his head as his finger returns back to the trigger, and you can’t help but flinch. He won’t. Not now. 
“Looks like your friends the FBI are here,” he drawls. “You said you didn’t tell them anything.” 
“I didn’t,” you insist. “They’re profilers—they figure things out.” 
He shakes his head. “They don’t realize that I have to do this.” Luke kneels down in front of you and takes your chin in an iron grip. “This is the only way to end our pain.” 
He lets go of you then stands up, moving behind you—you want to protest, but you don’t get the chance. He presses his gun to your temple and then the door is broken down. Four agents rush in, guns at the ready. Aaron leads them, and he’s got fire blazing in his eyes.
“FBI,” he barks. “Hands up.”
Lucas doesn’t seem fazed, his breathing staying the same. You stare right at Aaron, unfiltered fear in your eyes, and you feel torn bare. He’s going to watch your brother put a bullet in your head. 
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” he says smoothly. “This is a family matter.” 
“Put the gun down, Lucas,” Aaron says. 
“You know my name,” he says. “I know yours too, Aaron Hotchner. My sister told me you were with the feds. She also told me you broke her heart.”
“Put the gun down,” he repeats. 
“I don’t think I will,” Luke says. “You see, I don’t go around just kidnapping people for fun. I have a purpose here.” He tilts his head to the side. “But you know that, don’t you? You’re all profilers.” 
“You’ve been targeting families that look like your own,” he says. “You think that killing them will end the pain inside you, and protect those kids in a way that you never got.” 
“I don’t think it,” he bites, “I know it. If my dad had been shot thirty years ago, we wouldn’t be here right now.” 
“This isn’t going to bring you peace,” Aaron says. “Your sister has been the only person to stay by your side through every part of your life. Do you really want to lose that?” 
“Trust me,” Luke says. “I’m not losing her.” 
He flicks the safety off and you flinch. He’s going to kill you. 
“Put the gun down,” another agent warns. 
“If you all don’t leave right now, I’ll shoot her.” Your whole body stiffens as he presses the gun harder into the side of your head, your breathing going off kilter. “Except you, Aaron Hotchner. You can stay.”
“We’re not doing that,” the woman says. Agent Prentiss, you think. 
“Really?” Luke chuckles. “You think you hold the cards here?” 
“It’s okay,” Aaron says. “Go.” 
Agent Prentiss frowns, and the other two men look different levels of puzzled. They obviously doubt the decision, but they don’t doubt Aaron, because one by one, they leave. 
“Wow,” Luke muses. “They really trust you.” 
“Because I know you don’t want to hurt her,” Aaron says. “Deep down, you know you’re not protecting her. Not by hurting her.” 
“I’m not hurting her,” he says. “She’s always been the one to keep me safe over the years—I’m finally paying the favor back. I’m finally taking her pain away.”
“You were abused as children. Both of you.” Aaron looks at your brother. “Your sister always tried to protect you, but it never worked. It just made it worse for her, and it made you feel worthless. You’re her older brother. You’re the one that was supposed to protect her.”
“My sister said you’re profilers,” he says, and though his tone is lazy, you know your brother. You can tell it’s starting to get to him. “Is that what you’re doing right now? Profiling me?” 
“You would never be good enough for your father, and your mother would never do anything to stop it,” Aaron continues. “All you had was your sister, and even that wasn’t good enough—you hurt her just as much as your dad did. At least your dad didn’t think he was a good person.” 
Luke growls, and he puts a hand on your shoulder to pull you closer to him. “Shut up.” 
“Your sister has told me you can be more than this,” he says. “And I think she’s right. You’re better than this—better than living between the margins and jail.” 
“I’ve had a hole in my chest since I was born,” Luke mutters. “And I’ve tried to stop it, but it’s just grown and grown and grown. This— this aching pit of pain, and he caused it. You’ve got it too— I know it.” 
“I— I do,” you say. And you’re not lying. You’ve had a pit of despair in you for as long as you can remember. The only difference is that you’ve fought every goddamn day of your life to keep it from consuming you. “And it hurts, Luke. Trust me, I know. It took me so long to even be able to deal with it, but I know how to. I can help you—we can both walk out of here.” 
“No,” he whispers. “No—we can’t.”  
“Yes, we can,” you plead. “I love you, Luke. I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life helping you if that’s what it takes to get rid of that hole.” 
For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. For a moment, you think you’ve gotten through to him. Aaron never takes his eyes away from you. 
“I’ve never been able to protect her,” Luke murmurs. “Not from our dad, not from the world, not even from you, Aaron Hotchner.” He presses the gun harder than ever into your head, like he wants to bury the metal in your skull along with the bullet. “But that all ends now.” 
You screw your eyes shut. You don’t want to see Aaron’s face when your brother kills you. 
And then it happens so quickly you barely process it. 
There’s two gunshots, almost at the same time. You scream, first because of the gunshots, then because of the sudden roaring pain in your side. There’s a thud next to you, your eyes shoot open, and you see your brother’s lifeless body fall to the ground. 
You scream again—you can’t even control it, it just rips out of you at the sight of the hole in his head and the blood pooling beneath it—and Aaron drops his gun to rush forward. The rest of his team thunders in after him, all in guns and bulletproof vests, and they’re talking, but you can’t focus on a single goddamn thing because your brother’s dead body is right next to you. 
Aaron pulls out a pocket knife and begins to cut through your restraints, and the instant he finishes you collapse. He catches you without a second thought, and you immediately wrap your arms around him. 
Torrential sobs wrack your entire body as you bury your face in the crook of his shoulder, every part of you shaking as the reality of it all hits with full force. 
Your brother is a serial killer. He killed ten people, he tried to kill you. And now he’s dead. 
The only part you had left of your family—gone, just like that, with four other families ruined in his wake. 
Aaron’s soft voice in your ear is the only thing bringing you back from the edge of hyperventilation, his own hold on you the only thing keeping you from collapsing.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs and he shrugs off his windbreaker to wrap it around your arms. “You’re safe now. You’re safe.”
“He’s gone,” you choke out, voice muffled as you speak into his chest. “He’s gone, and he tried to—”
A fresh round of emotions hit you, unable to get the words out, and you fully break down in Aaron’s arms. 
“I know.”
Aaron’s fingers linger on your side and you feel some dull pain, but you feel his breath still for a moment. 
“You were shot,” he says with your name. “We have to get you to a hospital.” 
You don’t even feel it. God, you don’t feel anything. There’s a distant ringing in your ears, an insistent pain in your skull, and you finally realize Aaron is right when you pull away and see the blood on his fingers. 
But black spots start to fill your vision. You may not feel it, but your body holds the score. The pain intensifies in your side as your adrenaline starts to slow down, and you collapse against Aaron. 
“Get an EMT in here!” he yells, keeping an arm wrapped around you. “We’ve got a GSW— she’s losing blood fast!” 
You can feel Aaron’s rapid heartbeat, can feel his steady arms as he keeps you propped up. You feel the warmth of his body, feel the warmth draining out of yours. 
“Aaron,” you whisper, your strength fading. You don’t think he hears you.
He helps you up and you’re suddenly hoisted onto a stretcher, and he’s beside you as the EMTs run you out of your childhood home. The night is a blurry canvas of red and blue lights, and your eyelids feel like they’re made of concrete. 
“Aaron,” you try again, and you have enough left in you to grasp his cheek. “Thank you.” 
And as the world goes black around you for the second time, you see his lips form your name. 
It’s not a bad thing, you think before darkness overtakes you, for Aaron Hotchner to be the last thing you see before you die. 
-
You wake up in the hospital alone.  
You don’t know what you expect. You have few acquaintances, fewer friends, and the last part of your family is dead after he tried to kill you. 
The real surprise is that you wake up at all. 
Lucas is dead. 
He tried to kill you. You thought he succeeded. 
You let out a slow, even breath, accompanied only by the sounds of beeping machines. It still doesn’t exactly feel real. 
You’ve spent the last two weeks defending your brother against every accusation, and you ended it in the hospital—well and truly alone for the first time in your life. 
You look at the television. Some muted soccer game is playing, and you’re thankful. You were worried that you and your brother would be the topic of the day. 
Who are you kidding? You’re going to be the topic of the year. He killed ten people. He tried to kill you, and you think he nearly did. He shot you, after all. 
You let your head fall back against the pillow. All of your limbs feel insurmountably heavy, your side aches like hell, and you’ve got the worst headache of your life. 
And you can’t stop playing it all over in your mind. 
He was going to kill you. 
Your own brother, your flesh and blood, the only person you had left, tried to kill you and would have killed you had it not been for the BAU. 
Had it not been for Aaron Hotchner. 
The door opens and someone walks through, your eyes following the movement, and when he sees it, he pauses. And so do you—apparently the devil appears even when you think of him. 
“You’re awake,” Aaron says after a moment. It’s the third time he’s sounded surprised since you’ve met him again. Seeing you, finding out your mom is dead, seeing you. 
But there’s relief there, too.
He has a coffee in his hand and his tie is undone, the sleeves of his white undershirt rolled up to his forearms. It makes you realize his suit jacket has been slung over the back of the chair near your bedside. 
“How long have you been here?” you ask, your brows furrowing ever so slightly. 
Aaron closes the door and sets his coffee on the table before he answers you. “Three days.” 
“And how long have I been here?” 
“Three days,” he says. “You suffered head trauma, they discovered drugs in your system, and… you were shot. You had to go into emergency surgery.” 
You frown, and he answers before you can ask any of them. “…Your brother. After he knocked you out, he used something to… keep you out. And after I shot him, he still got one off—thankfully, as he was falling. The bullet hit you in the side instead of the head.”
“How bad was it?” you ask. 
Aaron glances away. “You died on the table. They managed to bring you back, but…” 
“I guess Luke did succeed,” you say absentmindedly. Aaron doesn’t laugh, and you glance away too. “Sorry. Bad time for jokes.” 
He shakes his head. “If anyone’s allowed to joke about this, it’s you.” 
Your lips twitch for a moment, but then you look back at him as he takes a seat at your bedside again. He looks— god, he just looks tired. Tired and ragged and downtrod, and you can’t imagine you look much better.  
“You were out for two days after,” he explains. “This is the first time you’ve woken up.”
“Why are you here, Aaron?” you ask quietly. “Why have you been here?” 
Aaron frowns. “Where else would I be?”
Your throat feels like it’s closing up, and you feel the telltale pinpricks of tears. You blink them away before they can start. 
“My brother was a serial killer, Aaron.” Your hands clench into fists as you stare at the wall. “He killed ten people while he was living with me and I— and I didn’t even fucking notice.” Your gaze moves back to him. “I went against all of you because I thought I knew him, and look where it got me.” 
“It’s not a crime to want to see the best in people,” he says. “Especially your family.” 
“It’s a crime to fucking murder people,” you huff, and it’s only slightly unhinged. “I— I thought I knew him, and I didn’t. And if I did, maybe none of these people would’ve had to die.”
“Don’t blame this on yourself,” Aaron demands. “Lucas was lost. Mentally ill. He was on a path for revenge, for his deranged idea of protection—nothing you could have said or done would have stopped him.” 
You shake your head. “It might be easy for you to say that, Aaron, but I— I can’t. He’s my brother. I gave him a place to live, I gave him easy access to families— god, I fought with you all for two weeks about his innocence, all while he was planning his next fucking murder!” 
“It is not your fault,” he repeats, slower and enunciating the words. “He was the only member left of your family, and you loved him. You were just stubborn, and that’s nothing new.” 
“I just don’t know what to do.” You’ve had these walls up for so long, especially this past week, and now that everything’s come to a head and you’re in the hospital and your fucking brother is dead, the floodgates have opened. “I have to plan a funeral because I’m the only one left to plan one, but— but does he even deserve one? He’s a serial killer, and he tried to kill me for god’s sake, but he’s my brother and even though he’s gone he’s still all I have left and—” 
You break off as you suck in a huge breath of air, the notion shaky as you clench your hands into fists to keep the rest of your body from doing the same. 
“And I just don’t know what to do,” you repeat, barely a whisper. 
You meet Aaron’s eyes, almost desperately. You feel like you’ll shatter into a million different pieces if you even breathe wrong and he might be the only solid thing in your life. 
“Whatever you do,” he says, “you don’t have to do it alone. Not if you don’t want to.” 
“Aaron,” you start shakily, but he continues. 
“I know what you think, and that’s not what I’m suggesting.” Aaron pauses for a moment, and it’s obvious how carefully he’s crafting his words. “I’ve… always regretted how we left things. And I regret losing touch with you. This isn’t the way I would’ve liked to meet you again. But I’m thankful I have.”
He pulls a card out of his shirt pocket and holds it out to you. You realize it’s his business card, and it’s got his number. 
“I’m sorry for the formality,” he says dryly, “but I don’t exactly go around prepared to give out my number for purposes other than work.” 
You take it without giving yourself the chance to think about it. You run your finger around the sharp edge of the cardstock, pressing the pad of your thumb against the corner. 
“Years ago, you wished me a good life, and that you didn’t want to be involved in it,” he says, still treading carefully. You can’t believe he remembers the last thing you said to him. “But— but a lot has changed since then, and I hope that has as well.” 
“I’d like you to be a part of my life again,” Aaron finally says, “if you want to be a part of mine.”
For a moment, all you can do is stare at him. Two and a half years of law school flash behind your eyes—coffee shop dates and endless hours spent studying at the library. Movie nights cuddled on his couch, hauling boxes out of your house at an ungodly hour to get away from your roommates. An unhealthy amount of all-nighters immediately followed by going out to celebrate a miracle of an A on an exam. Getting through every soul-sucking part of earning a J.D. together, falling apart before either of you could make it to the other side, and somehow…
Somehow, you’ve ended up on a completely different side together. 
“My life isn’t going to be easy,” you say faintly. “Especially… moving through this.” 
“My life isn’t easy either,” he says. “I’m divorced with a kid and I try to solve murders every day.” 
“It’s not a contest.” An attempt at a joke, but it falls flat for you. Aaron’s lips still quirk at the edges the slightest bit. 
“Getting through this certainly won’t be easy,” he agrees. “But I have more experience than most in these sorts of things. So if you ever need anything, call. Please.” 
“I imagine you’re pretty busy,” you murmur. “Unit chief and all.” 
Aaron shrugs. “I make time for the things I care about.” 
Thankfully, you don’t have to figure out how to respond to that, because there’s a knock on the door, and a nurse walks in after you call a come in.
“It’s good to finally see you awake, sweetheart,” the nurse says with a smile. It warms you from the inside out. 
“It’s nice to be awake,” you say. Her smile widens and she moves over to the computer in the side of the room—to add some things before she makes her checkup, you assume. 
“I’ll give you some time alone,” Aaron says.
Before he can stand up, you grab his hand. It’s fully on instinct, and he looks just as surprised as you feel.  
“Don’t go,” you plead, and it’s almost a whisper. “I— just— please.” 
Aaron stares at you for a moment, that shock glinting in his eyes before it transforms into something a lot warmer. He nods and sits down. 
“Okay.” 
And he stays. 
This time, he stays.
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mrs-kmikaelson · 5 months ago
Text
What's in a Name? (+)
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader Summary: The one time that you don't walk away. Warnings: mentions of substance abuse, vvs suggestive Words: 1.2K
Masterlist
a/n: if ur js finding this fic, this is the bonus! the fives times r does walk away are here. this happens right after no.5, btw.
6. A lie is the truth
Arlington, Virginia, 2008
You couldn't sleep.
All you could think of was the fact that you were in Aaron's bed and he was right outside the door. The thunder continued to boom but your thoughts were louder than the storm outside; they consumed you.
It was irrational. You'd known him for nearly five years, and in that time, you'd only seen him an equivalent of five times, yet he was still on your mind. He'd been on your mind non-stop since New York—and that was crazy.
You felt crazy.
You felt crazy because he was right. You felt something.
It all started off as a game. You just wanted to get under his skin, play with fire a bit, but you got burned. You couldn't handle the heat; you couldn't handle the way the game stopped being a game. It became something else.
Hotch's role was to get irritated, maybe a bit flustered, but he was never supposed to flirt back. He was never supposed to want to know you— you couldn't even remember the last time anyone wanted to do that.
Lovers came and went over the years, but none had ever felt like this. It was always physical, but you and Aaron hadn't even kissed. Without any of that, he still had you in his grip. 
You couldn't remember the last time you'd been with anybody. You don't know if you'd been holding off on purpose, if it was conscious. You'd been holding out for a guy you couldn't even be with, and now that you had the chance, you were the one holding back.
God, if he knew you before. If you'd met before, things would've been so different. Maybe he could've saved you from yourself. 
But he didn't. When you were drowning, you pulled yourself out of the water. That old version of you died, and Y/N was born. Y/N was the one who saved you. When you had no one else, Y/N was there. She was your shoulder to cry on until she taught you not to cry anymore, to focus.
But now what did you have? An apartment you barely lived in and nobody that really knew you. But there was a man out there, a good man, who said he wanted to.
You didn't know what you'd show him—you weren't even sure if you really knew you.
But maybe... maybe you could find out together.
You'd never know if you didn't try.
With that thought, you threw the covers back and beelined for the door. When you opened it, you were surprised to find Aaron already behind the threshold, fist raised to knock. In an instant, he dropped it.
"Y/N—"
You cut him off. "Wait, just— just let me get this out." He looked confused. "If I don't get it out, I don't think I ever will."
There was a beat of silence, but then he spoke. "Okay."
His eyes were kind and patient as you tried to gather the words, everything you wanted to say vanishing from your fingertips. So you went with the first thing that popped into your mind. "My name is Lorelai." Surprise shone on his face, but you paid it little mind, racing to say everything before you lost the courage. "But people used to call me Lai. It was a play on words, because I was a liar. I lied about a lot of things. I got involved with the wrong kinds of people, got my hands on the wrong types of things, I was—" you swallowed. "I was an addict. And my life was gonna go down the drain, but things changed. Then I got on the government radar, and suddenly I wasn't Lai anymore, but I was still a liar; the difference was just that I was a better liar. More powerful. Now I'm Y/N. And that name changed everything for me. That is what is in a name. Everything."
By the time you finished, you were breathing heavy. You averted your eyes as a chuckle left you. "So, tell me, Aaron, do you still want to know me?"
You were expecting him to leave, to end it there and tell you he'd drive you home tomorrow, but instead, you felt sudden warmth on your cheeks as his hands wiped away tears you didn't know were there. "Look at me." When you didn't respond, he tried again, "Y/N. Look at me."
You looked up, expecting to see judgement and hatred, anger, but you saw none of that. You saw openness and understanding, and other emotions you couldn't pinpoint. You realized you couldn't decipher it because no one had ever looked at you this way.
His voice was soft and firm all at the same time. "Y/N, I don't care what your name is. I don't care if a lie is the truth— I care about you." He paused as if he wanted his words to soak in, but not once did he look away. "I want to know you, whether that be about Lorelai or Y/N doesn't matter. This woman in front of me right now, she is who I want to know." 
Your heart beat rapidly against your ribcage as he leaned in closer. Déjà vu from your moment in the kitchen hit you hard, your eyes going back to his lips, the same lips that just uttered that he didn't care, the same lips that just washed away your fears. 
He closed his eyes and then pleaded, "Let me know you, Y/N."
That shattered any last semblance of doubt you had left, and you barely had time to think about it before you were slamming your lips into his. 
He reciprocated immediately, kissing you with the fervour of a man who'd been suffocated and you were his air. A sensation you couldn't name erupted all over your body, from your head to your toes, and you wondered how you had lived so long without ever feeling this. Of all the kisses you'd ever had, none could compare to this one.
But this didn't just feel like a kiss. It felt like a promise.
Your lips moved in sync together, just like when you'd been dancing that night in Washington. It was like your body knew all the steps to this dance without ever having learned it.
So now you wondered, if this was supposed to be wrong, why did it feel more right than anything you'd ever done?
Eventually, you had to pull away. His eyes were still closed. You grinned. "How about you get to know me tomorrow night at dinner?"
That caused his eyes to open, a full-fledged smile making its way onto his face, and you knew then and there that you'd do anything to make him smile like that all the time. "8 o'clock?"
You nodded and agreed, "It's a date."
His smile got wider, and then he ducked his head into the crook of your neck where it fit perfectly. You wrapped your arms around his neck, recalling how he tensed the last time you did so. Now he had a different reaction, pressing his lips against your neck and littering kisses everywhere.
Tomorrow, you had a date at 8'oclock. But as Aaron kicked the door closed, you wondered if you'd make it out of bed to get there.
You supposed you could miss one date.
You had a feeling there would be many more to make up for it.
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mrs-weasley-reid · 5 months ago
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hi hiiiii! I was wondering if you could do a Hotch x reader where there’s maybe an age gap and it’s based on Peter by Taylor swift? I’m obsessedddd with that song. Thankssss <3
PROMISES NEVER TO KEEP
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Aaron Hotchner x reader
Synopsis: He said he'll change. You believed he'd change. It's no one's fault, really. Waiting forever is just too long for heartache. WARNING: angst. pure free writing. 700+ word count. not proofread!!! A/N: tysm for this req!!! The age gap was vague, and honestly, the gap is like 9-10 yrs, r around late 20s. Also can anyone believe I sat, played the song, wrote along, and called it a day? The power of a TS song is just unmatched. I strongly suggest listening to the song while reading it.
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  Aaron’s late.
  Again.
  You stare at the empty seat across from you. Then, glance at the loud ticking over the mantle. Ten past eleven. Dinner was eight.
  Deep inhales mixed with salty tears you aren’t aware have been flowing for the past five minutes enter your lungs. There’s a tug in your chest that you swear to be a phantom. You smile ever so softly with a sniff as you tuck your head to study the cold dinner on your plate.
  Was it too last minute? Was it on you?
  You told Aaron about dinner two months ago. He said he had it written down and made a note on his phone’s calendar. He said he’d make it this time. Was he lying?
  The pit of your stomach sinks. And you wonder what else he lies about.
  Hot, achy streams trail down a path on your cheeks. You stand and clear out the table, covering his serving and throwing out yours. You watch as the residue drains down the sink.
  Aaron promised.
  And you believed it like any other promises he’d broken before.
  And you’ll believe him again and again and again until there are no more promises he could outswore.
  And it’s depressing because you know you’ll forgive him every single time like a chore.
  And it’s heartbreaking because he’ll make the same promises.
  And it hurts to know he’ll never keep any of it.
  Because he’s Aaron Hotchner. The man who saves lives. The man who put away monsters. The man who’s done many good things to the world. The man who caught your heart and dropped it many times, just for him to fix it with a consolation smile.
  Aaron once said you're his favorite book. He's read you enough times to know the important lines in mind. Just never enough to notice the spaces in between by heart. Maybe it's your fault for being easy to read. Or you're just not smart enough to read Aaron. Not mature enough to understand his limbs of idioms.
  And Aaron tries. God knows you try. He does his best, and you do yours. It's no one's fault that his best is so little, and your best goes unnoticed.
  You zip around your luggage, taking a moment to see how empty the drawer Aaron saved just for you. What will he put there now?
  A familiar tune rings. The tightness on your chest, along with the sobs that echo in the empty bedroom, muffle his call into a far buzzing sound.
  With a sharp gulp to clear the ache in your throat, you pick up, “[Hey, honey…]”
  He won’t show.
  Again.
  But he promised. Your heart cries in agony. And you hug your middle like a child who deserves everything the world can offer as you reply, I know.
  Where are you?
  When are you coming home?
  Why aren’t you here?
  “Hey, sweet man,” Comes out of your lips, masking a shaky sob.
  There’s a sigh on the other end, “[I’m sorry. I won’t make it to dinner. Did you wait long?]”
  You always do. You wait until the daylight peeks in the window. Wait for him to return every single time.
  “After almost burning the house down. I think you would’ve waited longer if you had come.” The laugh comes out damp. You like to think you’re getting better at it. Lying to make him feel better.
  He hums. “[I’m sure it still would’ve tasted amazing.]” Aaron wouldn’t have known. He hasn’t known what your amazing cooking tastes like for a long time because he’s never shown up for a very long time.
  You wipe your tears and take a deep breath before staring into the place you’d once ached to call your home. Reminded by a series of his apologies and empty promises. The place where you burned all by yourself like a candle in the middle of winter.
  And now’s the final flicker of your light.
  “[Still there, honey?]”
  You give your best to sound naturally groggy, “Sorry, handsome… I had an early morning.” A lie over your breath.
  “[Go ahead and rest. I’ll see you when I get home?]”
  You grab the handle of your luggage. Memories of his sweet words flicker, clutching onto false hopes.
  You make a promise that you’ll call him to explain.
  To end things maturely.
  To offer closure.
  To meet acceptance.
  To move on.
  You promise to grow better as a person so that you’d understand an increment of the reason why he can’t make you his person.
  You promise to cross Aaron’s path again one day. When he’s old and gray. When you don’t need to pray. When you know, he’ll stay.
  Placing the spare keys on the bowl, your fingers press the switch to dark.
  “See you when you get home.”
  It’s a promise you won’t keep.
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hotch masterlist | masterlist
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dvrcos · 11 months ago
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more mic’d up andrew minyard when?? mic’d up AARON minyard when?? other mic’d up fox when??
Aaron Minyard Mic’d up
Hes reluctant to do it for a long fucking time
He thinks its kinda dumb
But he mostly doesn’t wanna get scolded for what his mic would pick up
Because my boy is a shit talker
He’s saying everything and anything he can to rile up the other team
He’s even trying to rile up the other foxes tbh
So when he finally agrees he makes coach promise he won’t get in trouble
He body slams the opposing striker (because if there’s one thing Aaron’s gonna do it’s put his all into a body check)
And the opposing striker is mad like visibly fuming
He’s all up in Aaron’s space, a moment away from starting a fight
And Aaron thinks it’s the funniest thing ever
He’s laughing his ass off while loudly crashing their raquets against each other
‘What you’re upset I hit you? I’m five foot nothing dude sounds like a you problem’
And he’s lucky the striker gets pulled away by his teammates cause he’s over 6 foot
And Aaron is all bark, no bite
*whispering into the mic as he walks away* ‘I’ll be honest guys, he would’ve kicked my ass but that was to good of an opportunity to pass up’
His best moments come from when he trips up a striker
*sends the striker sprawling onto their ass* ‘womp womp’
*body slams one into the wall* ‘maybe next time man’
*slams the ball out of their racquet* ‘that’s not yours cmon now’
He flirts with the opposing team but in German
Because he’s discovered that when they can’t understand what he’s saying it really gets to them
And he’ll slip in a word in English so they figure out he’s flirting
And they’re even more pissed and distracted that they mess up what would’ve been a solid play
‘What the fuck did you just say to me!?’
‘Hey, hey sorry just trying to have a nice conversation’ *winks and walks away to start up play again*
*Opposing striker, absolutely baffled and fuming*
His striker accidentally trips him up and gets past to Andrew
And Aaron doesn’t even have to look at Andrew to see the heavy bored expression he’s giving him
Aaron knows he’s probably plotting where to hide his body if he does it again
*Andrew, shaking his head in disappointment as he smacks the ball away*
*Aaron rolling onto his knees and pleading for mercy while laughing* ‘my bad, let’s just talk this out I promise it won’t happen again it was Nicky’s fault’
This happens a lot whenever they’re both on the court
Because making a joke out of Exy is one of the only ways they both actually enjoy it sometimes
And it’s something they can actually bond over
But oh god forbid if someone on the other team says something about Andrew
That’s when Aaron just looses it
Doesn’t matter if the player is ten times his size, he becomes all bite
‘Put your psycho pet brother on a leash already’
And Aaron’s helmets already off and he’s going for his gloves next
*Matt grabbing him and holding him back* ‘cmon Matt it’ll be good, he asked for it, it’ll be good’
‘No Aaron, no red cards’
‘But it’ll be fun’ *tries to throw his helmet at the other player*
He gets a yellow card for it but he proudly displays it by tucking it into the front of his jersey
‘I’m gonna frame this one coach’ he tells Wymack as he sits on the bench for his penalty
Kevin’s always the most annoyed by Aaron’s shit talking because it threatens the game and Aaron’s wellbeing
And he also gets the most riled up whenever Aaron’s turns it onto him
*Kevin storming over to Aaron after he almost gets ejected* ‘Stop saying shit that’ll get you kicked out of the game you idiot’
‘Oh cmon Day I know you like em a little feisty, I’m just trying to make you happy my Queen,’
And Kevin just smacks the top of his helmet and turns to walk away
‘I can get on my knees to apologize if you want, I know you like me on my knees’
And Kevin just has to tune him out cause Aaron won’t stop if he feeds into it
He gets really into the game sometimes though (because he’s competitive and he can’t help it)
Like he’s screaming and cheering so loud at certain points the mic is crackling
*Kevin and Neil scoring the goal that pulls them into the lead* ‘LETS FUCKING GO’
When he’s on the bench he’s the one banging on the plexi glass
He’s screaming at them to get their heads out of their asses or cheering them on even though they can’t hear him
And then he gets out of his competitive streak and he’s lowkey embarrassed
‘If that gets posted online I will never recover’ he mutters after he’s just jumped into Matt’s arms in celebration
When the foxes listen to his recording later they’re shocked by how creative Aaron gets with all of it
And they find it hilarious
And endearing
And they like that they’re getting to see a new part of Aaron as he gets more comfortable with the team
He is by far one of the most aggressive of the foxes when he’s on the court, both physically and verbally
And the fans absolutely eat it the fuck up
But Wymack doesn’t mic him up often because he is lowkey a liability because of what he says
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juniperskye · 10 months ago
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Stick to What You Know.
Sneak peek: Reader is asked to join the BAU by none other than Director Cruz himself. She is a child psychologist and Cruz thought she would make a great asset; it would seem though that Agent Hotchner doesn’t agree.
Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader
Angst
Word count: 3134
Guys...I feel like this is shit, I wrote it in like 3 hours soo…. it’s not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, implied age gap, some language, one use of y/n I think, Hotch is a DICK in this for a minute (SORRY), reader has children, talk of dissociative identity disorder (in reference to a case), canon case talk/info, mention of murder (in reference to a case), Reader in a child psychologist, reader is friends with Director Mateo Cruz, implied death of Haley. I think that’s all, let me know if I missed anything!!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
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You were so late. You were thanking the lord that you knew Mateo well from having previously worked with him, otherwise your lateness would probably come across as a lack of seriousness or appreciation for the strings he had pulled to get you here. And of course, being lost in thought while simultaneously rushing through an unfamiliar building had you barreling into a handsome stranger…or maybe a handsome acquaintance.
“I am so sorry!” You’d hurried out.
His large hands steadied you with a gentle but firm grasp on your arms. Your eyes glance upward to meet his.
“No worries, are you alright?” He offered.
“I’m good thank you. Wait, you’re Aaron Hotchner, I’ve sat in on a few of your lectures at the university.”
“I am, and thank you, I hope you were able to take something from them.”  He blushed.
“I did, oh shoot sorry! I have to go; I am so late!” You said, speed walking away from him.
Aaron couldn’t help but watch as you walked away from him. And you couldn’t help but think to yourself that he was far more handsome up close.
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After explaining your tardiness to Mateo, he led you to the sixth floor to officially meet your new team. The rest of them anyway.
“Mat, you told them I was joining right? I ran into Agent Hotchner, and he didn’t show any signs of recognition. And I told you I didn’t want to join a team who wasn’t ready and willing to have me.” You ranted.
“Yes I told him, you have nothing to worry about.” He lied. “You head down into the bullpen and meet the agents; I will go up and talk to Agent Hotchner.”
You nodded in agreement and made your way to Emily and Spencer.  You exchanged greetings, and Emily took you around to meet everyone else.
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“Director Cruz, what can I do for you?” Hotch asked.
“I have a new recruit for you. She will be starting today.” Mateo gestured toward the window.
Aaron glanced out, finding the beautiful woman from this morning standing amongst his team. Morgan must’ve tried to charm her because she threw her head back in laughter with the most beautiful smile. Why her? Why did she have to be joining his team?
“Why didn’t I receive her file?”
“Truthfully Aaron, I didn’t have it together. She and I have worked together on some classified cases. But I have a file here with some of her info.  She specializes in child psychology which is something your team is lacking, I figured that she could work with your team on all of your child related cases, but then can occasionally consult with other teams should they need her expertise.” Mateo explained.
“Okay.”
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It had been three months since then, and things had not been going well. You had gone on all but one case with the BAU since you’d started. Every single time, Aaron kept you at the local precincts, not allowing you out on any real field work – this was hindering your ability to do your job effectively. You needed to observe the unsub’s home and belongings and dumpsites etc. but he was denying you the opportunity.
The rest of the team had been nothing but welcoming, inviting you into their little family with open arms. None of them could have predicted that Hotch would ice you out the way he was.
Every time you offered a theory or statistic or any sort of information, Hotch shut you down. He would belittle you, constantly making you feel small, and he purposely called you agent instead of referring to you as doctor and well, why should today be any different.
You had been called out on a case and based on all the information the team had acquired so far, you had a pretty good working theory.
JJ, Spencer, and you had been sitting in the room the local precinct had designated as yours for the duration of the case.
“I have an idea…it’s a little out there but hear me out,” You started, your gaze shifting to JJ and Spencer, who both encouraged you to continue. “Okay, so some of the details in this case match, while others are all over the place, like the MO is essentially the same but some of the victims’ injuries show signs of hesitation where others show none, I know hotch mentioned multiple unsubs, but what if it is one unsub, with multiple personalities.”
“Like dissociative identity disorder. You know that would make a lot of sense considering people with DID tend to have highly varying alters or identities. They can range in race, gender, age which would explain why the murders have been so different, it would also explain why the comfort zone is so small.” Spencer validated you.
“See that’s what I was thinking too, they would want to stay close to home in the case that perhaps there was a switch in alter, that way they would be somewhere familiar and be able to return home…”
“That’s enough Agent!” Hotch’s voice boomed through the small room. “I have put up with this for far too long. You came in here unannounced and have continued to provide absolutely ridiculous theories that do nothing but waste our time and resources…”
“Hotch” JJ tried to calm him.
He lifted his hand to silence her before continuing, “You have continued to get in the way of my investigations again and again and I won’t have it anymore. Cruz spoke so highly of you and frankly I don’t see it. I’m sorry if I’m the first one to tell you this agent, but perhaps you should stick to what you know.” Hotch finished.
There was no way in hell that you were going to let yourself cry in front of this asshole. You refused to let him win in this moment.
“You know what Agent Hotchner, I have done nothing but work my ass off for this team and I have provided valuable feedback and information that has led to the capture of multiple unsubs over the last few months. But if you want to sit up there on your high horse and act all delusional, go ahead. I don’t want to be a part of a team who is led by someone so pompous and misogynistic. And one last thing, if you are going to sit there and berate me then you will address me properly. It’s Doctor, not agent…I know that may be hard to remember since it’s a title you don’t hold. Goodnight.” With that you grabbed your jacket and bag and made your way outside.
You ordered an uber and made your way back to the hotel. The nerve Hotch seemed to have filled you with rage, but you wouldn’t stick around to entertain his outburst any longer, you had a call to make.
“Hello?”
“Mat, I need a flight home.” You said, the tears finally beginning to fall.
“Is everything okay? What happened?” Mateo questioned.
“It’s fine, I just have a personal emergency and I need to get home as soon as possible.”
“Sure thing, I am booking your flight now, can you be at the airport in two hours?” He asked.
“Yes, that’s perfect. Thank you.”
With that you hung up the phone, packed your bag, ordered another uber and made your way outside. You were purposely ignoring the texts coming in from Spencer and JJ. You made sure to slide a note under Spence’s door before leaving.
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“Has anyone seen y/n this morning?” Dave asked.
“She left.” Spencer confirmed, holding up the note.
“What why? Is she okay?” Emily asked, concern laced in her tone.
“I can’t blame her. You guys should have seen it, Hotch yelled at her. And I mean full on yelled. I’ve never heard him speak that way to anyone before.” JJ chimed in.
“What are you talking about? He yelled at her. About what?” Morgan questioned.
“He completely flew off the handle. She and Spence were going over a theory about the unsub and he just started yelling, telling her that she was wasting our time and resources.”
The team was in disbelief, Hotch wasn’t mean or condescending, so why was he acting this way now? How could he treat arguably the sweetest member of the team so disrespectfully?
Dave shook his head; he was pretty sure he knew exactly why Aaron was acting out this way. He just couldn’t believe that Aaron had said such harsh things to the girl. His heart broke for her knowing that someone she idolized had been so awful to her, and for all the wrong reasons.
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The team had wrapped up that case fairly quickly, you had been right, and the unsub turned out to be a nineteen-year-old male who had been struggling with dissociative identity disorder. Hotch had felt uneasy knowing that he had questioned your intelligence, despite you being an excellent agent.
Upon returning to the BAU, Dave was sure to confront Aaron about his inappropriate behavior.  Telling him that he couldn’t treat you terribly just because he couldn’t wrap his brain around the feelings for you he was refusing to acknowledge. Aaron had scoffed at him and told him that he didn’t have feelings for you, but Dave knew he was lying.
You had quite a different experience since returning. The first thing you did was cry, you let yourself release all the pent-up frustration you’d been holding onto since you had started at the BAU. Then, you texted Mat, letting him know that you needed to meet with him.
He was curious and waiting for answers, but he ultimately agreed and waited to ask all his questions until you were face to face.
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“So, what’s up? This meeting request was so formal.” Mat laughed.
“I know and I am sorry I have been so vague about everything, but I am here to resign.”
Mat’s smile fell from his face immediately.
“What happened? Did something happen, because I promise you I have looked into the complaints filed against Agent Morgan and Ms. Garcia and I can assure you, they just have a strange friendship.” Mateo tried to explain.
“Mat, slow down! It isn’t like that. I just don’t think it is a good fit, there’s just too many differences between how I work and how the team operates. It’s okay really.” You tried to smile to really sell your lie.
“Well, I can’t help but be disappointed, I really thought that you would be a perfect fit for this team.” Mateo trailed off.
“I know and I am so sorry. I know you had to pull a ton of strings to get me here and I don’t want it to seem like I am not grateful because I can assure you, I am!”
“I know, and it’s alright! If it’s not a good fit then it’s not a good fit.” Mateo flashed you a sad smile.
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A few weeks had passed since you had left the BAU, and truly, you had been doing well! You had spent some much-needed time with your family. You had reached out to a good friend of yours and inquired about a job teaching at the local university, which you were truly looking forward to. It had also meant that you would have a free summer to spend some quality time with your kids.
Tonight, you had one of your best friends over, your kids had grown up together and so you liked to do these big “family” dinners together at least once a month, that however meant chaos in the house. Kids yelling, teenagers gossiping, dinner burning…I guess that means you’ll be ordering a pizza.
Your friend and you had been talking about your new job and the excitement you were feeling for it, a movie long forgotten playing in the background, the kids were playing some card game you didn’t recognize when the doorbell rang.
“Oh, I bet that’s the pizza!” You said, making your way to the door.
“I left the cash on the table there!” Your friend shouted.
“Hi…Oh. What the hell are you doing here?” Shock painted its way across your face. Standing at your door was not the pizza delivery guy, but Aaron Hotchner.
“I uh, I came here to talk to you. I know that I do not deserve your time, but I am truly hoping you’ll allow me a few minutes to explain myself.”
“Dude, do you need help or…oh, shit. Sorry! Did you guys need a minute?” Your friend interrupted.
“Um” your gaze shifted from Aaron to your friend. “Agent Hotchner, why don’t we go to the back. Can you keep an eye out for the pizza?” You suggested.
“Of course! You go.” She replied.
Aaron and you made your way to the backyard, in doing so he took note of all the children sitting in the living room, sprawled out across the floor and couches.
“I didn’t know you had children.” Aaron started.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me. Is that why you came here agent Hotchner? To see my home and profile me?” You questioned him.
“No of course not! I was making an observation. I’m sorry. Like I said, I am here to explain my behavior, none of which will excuse how I acted but I am hoping it might help you to understand some of it.” His gaze shifted around your face. “From the moment I first laid my eyes on you, I knew I was ruined. You were breathtaking, even when you plowed right into me in your rush to the director’s office. You bumped into me and God, then you looked up at me with those big, beautiful eyes and I was a goner. But then you said something to me, and I knew I was done for. Do you remember what you said?”
“I apologized and then I told you I’d gone to some of your lectures. Hold on Agent Hotchner are you saying you were horrible to me because you had a crush on me? What are we? Seven-year-olds on the playground! That is such bullshi….” He didn’t let you finish.
“Hold on. You did mention that you had been to my lectures, but it was what you said as you walked away that had me hooked…you said, “he’s far more handsome up close” and I don’t think you meant to say it out loud, but at that moment I told myself that I was ready. I was ready to move on and I was going to ask you out later that day, but then you walked into the bullpen and Cruz said you’d be a part of the BAU, and I knew it wouldn’t be possible. I couldn’t date my subordinate and I didn’t know what to do, you had called me handsome and I…”
“Now wait a minute! I didn’t mean to say that out loud and this still isn’t…”
“I’m not finished. You had some sort of attraction for me even if it was just an appreciation for my looks. I already had it bad for you, and to top it all off, you came in and just had to be the sweetest, most loving person in the BAU and I couldn’t have you. It wouldn’t be appropriate. I figured the easiest thing to do would be to make you hate me, then I’d be able to shake these feelings for you, but no. You continued to be kind to me, even if I was awful to you and I couldn’t take it. My breaking point was the look on your face after I yelled at you on that last case. I felt sick with myself. I couldn’t leave things like that; I needed you to know that I don’t think those things. You are an incredible agent and an even better person and I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” Aaron finished, looking down at his shoes.
You were speechless. While it felt amazing that the man you had harbored feelings for, returned your feelings. It also felt terrible that he wasn’t mature enough to just be upfront with you from the beginning. Instead, he felt the need to play some arduous game with you. It would be so easy to just throw yourself into his embrace and kiss him and call it all forgotten, but what if this is some insight into his communication skills, or lack thereof?
Your mind and heart were battling one another like an angel and devil on your shoulder. It was a back-and-forth quarrel that seemingly had no correct response, both had the same potential outcomes; you getting your heart broken, regret, potential happiness. What were you meant to do?
“I um, I don’t know what to say. You said some horrible things to me and that doesn’t just go away. Agent Hotchner, we’re adults.”
“Please call me Aaron, or at least Hotch.”
“Aaron we are adults and you acted like a child. Am I meant to just forgive and forget the way you made me feel?”
“No, I would never expect that. I do hope that one day you can forgive me, and if you give me the chance, I would truly love to make it up to you.” He explained.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” He questioned.
“Okay, you can make it up to me. And maybe, just maybe I will forgive you. It’s not going to be easy though.” You said.
“I wouldn’t want it to be easy.” He smiled.
“Alright well you can start tomorrow. I’d invite you to stay but this is a family dinner and with all the kids it might be a bit chaotic.” You told him.
“That’s fair.”
You could see the wheels turning in his head, he’s trying to figure out the dynamics of your little family, and maybe you could spare him a little bit of leeway.
“Her and I combined have nine kids. I have five and she has four. And before you ask, only two are biologically mine. A close friend of ours passed and I was listed as the personal guardian for her kids. That’s also how I have a teenager.” You explained. “That’s all you get for now.” You teased.
“I will take what I can get. Thank you, for giving me this chance.” Aaron smiled at you.
You smiled back and led him to the door, not missing the shit-eating grin your friend was wearing on her face. You bid him goodnight with a promise to text him to make some sort of plan. You didn’t know what would come of this, or if you’d end up together, but for now, you didn’t need to know. For now, you’d take it one day at a time.
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voxmortuus · 1 year ago
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✧*̥˚ PAIRING: *̥˚✧ Yandere!Count Vronsky x F!Reader!Wife ✧*̥˚ UNIVERSE: *̥˚✧ Anna Karenina ✧*̥˚ WORD COUNT: *̥˚✧ 3.6k ✧*̥˚ PROMPT: *̥˚✧ This was given to me by the lovely @bettytaylorversion || Okay, okay I'm lately obsessed with yandere Count Vronsky, so how about yan Vronsky suspecting that his wife is seeing someone or like in love with someone and it doesn't help when his mother keeps feeding his suspicions so he ends up locking the wife/reader up in their house in countryside/ another country house where no one can reach them and where he makes sure his beloved wife knows exactly how much he loves her. ✧*̥˚ TRIGGER WARNINGS: *̥˚✧ Dead Dove Do Not Eat | Yandere Count | Possessive Count | Aggressive Count | Stalker Count | Demanding Count | Accusations of Cheating | Toxic Mother | False ideas | False Suspicions from mother | Toxic Marriage? | Isolation of Reader | Slapping | Pushing or Shoving | Yelling | Slamming doors | Gripping readers throat | Passionate making out | Throwing reader on bed | Stripping reader | Unprotected PiV | Aggressive sex | Reader fights a bit but stops fighting | Dub-Con? | insinuated Cream Pie | Crying Reader | Fluff | Reader questions if she loves him at the end | Relationship conflictions | PLEASE TELL ME IF I FORGOT ANYTHING!!! I want to make sure readers are fully aware of what they are getting themselves into when they read this… ✧*̥˚ NOTES: *̥˚✧ I've been wanting to write for him for a long while! Thank you love for this request! I hope this is along the lines of what you were hoping for... Sorry if it doesn't hit exactly what you're looking for but I tried!!! Anywho.... I hope this brings you some joy. ✧*̥˚ DIVIDER CREDIT: *̥˚✧ @nyxvuxoa ✧*̥˚ TIME PASSER DIVIDER CREDIT: *̥˚✧ @voxmortuus ✧*̥˚ IMAGE CREDIT: *̥˚✧ @peachyspaceslvt ✧*̥˚ ATJ TAGLIST: *̥˚✧ @earth-elemental18 @nyxvuxoa-writes ✧*̥˚ My Master Masterlist | Aaron Taylor-Johnson Masterlist *̥˚✧
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It was this gnawing feeling, this feeling of dread, sorrow, a pain in his gut he couldn't shake. Watching you go as he leaned against the window frame, he knew where you were going. He knew, he just had this gut feeling that he couldn't quite shake. It ate at his heart, it ate at his brain, it was like these cogs and wheels working, but not in a way of rationality. His thoughts were completely irrational. Looking out that window as your carriage vanished into the thick fog of the dawn, he felt so lost, so angry. He wasn't happy, and not happy may be quite an understatement.
Placing a hand-rolled cigarette between his lips he grabbed a match from the fireplace and lit it. The smoke bellowed above, tossing the match into the fire he turned to see his mother sitting at the table.
"She does not have love for you anymore, Alexei." She stated. Her tone appeared caring, honest, maybe even having pity, but it was just because she didn't like you.
"She must love me. That is my wife, she must." He stated he didn't seem demanding about it, he seemed sad, heartbroken even.
"But she does not. She will never love you as she loves him. What married woman is happy with her husband? She has grown bored of you. Had she not she would not go to him as she does." She points out.
His heart, if it was a glass a cat had pushed off the counter it would have shattered. He only hoped that you were as enraptured by him as he was about you. He looked up at the wall, the painting of you seemed to be watching. He closed his stormy blue eyes and looked back at his mother.
"She does love me. I know it to be true. You speak lies, like a snake in the garden." He snapped and walked to the table and had taken a sip from the slightly sweetened tea he had poured only moments before your leaving. Sitting there he tapped his smoke against a small crystal ashtray and his mind became overrun, thinking of everything his mother had stated. Thinking of those possibilities. What were you doing? Were you spreading your legs for him? Was he satisfying you? Were you unhappy with him? Did you not love him? Did you grow bored of him? He rubbed his lip a moment as he took another drag before looking at his mother.
"When she comes home, I will settle this." He stated. Taking the cup and his almost-gone smoke and had vanished to the bedroom. He sits on the edge of the bed after putting the cup on the bedside table and looks over your side of the bed. It was too much, these feelings he had, it was like they were just bubbling up, ready to overflow and put out the fire that kept the pot lit. Feeling the stinging in his nose from the slight anger he ran his hand through his curly blonde locks and his jaw clenched as he put his smoke out in the ashtray and grabbed his clothes for getting dressed before he slammed the bedroom door.
His mother had heard the slam and had made her way to the room. Letting herself in she looked over him and sighed. "I just want what is best for you."
"I said I would take care of it. I do not need your help. She is my wife, not yours." He sort of snapped.
"You are right, she is your wife. And your wife is off with another man, spreading her legs and enjoying her time away from you. So how are you going to handle that Alexei?" She asked.
"I will take her away from here. I will take her far away from everyone. Including you." He snapped. "Now if you do not mind, I am getting dressed. Go find something else to bother." He snarled slightly as he escorted her out of the doorway and closed and locked the bedroom door.
Looking out the bedroom window and looking over the garden, he watched the flowers bob from the heaviness of the heads that were filled with the morning dew. It was something so simple, and yet even looking at their beauty, he saw you, he saw your smile, your smooth skin, your curves, he saw how your hair fell, that glow in your eyes when you were happy. You had to love him, why was he questioning it? Why was he standing there, looking out on those flowers questioning if you loved him?! With a clenched jaw and a knitted brow, he threw open the closet door and grabbed his attire for the day.
After fastening the last button on his coat, he makes his way back to the kitchen- it's like he doesn't want to acknowledge the other parts of the home without you here. Feeling lost, and one track minded. He didn't like that you were gone, it loomed over him like a dark cloud heavy with rain looms over the dirt countryside roads. He needed to know where you were going. He needed to know what you were doing. He needed to know what you were saying. Were you tired of him? Were you unhappy? It just gnawed at him like a beaver gnawing on a log.
Why was this even a feather of a thought? It's not that he didn't want you to have friends, it's just, why did they have to be male friends? And even then, it wasn't the idea of male friends that bothered him, it was the embedded, plated thoughts from the snake in the garden that made him believe that you were unhappy, that you were not in love with him any longer, that you were looking for a way out of this relationship. Well, that was going to be nipped in the bud right away. There was going to be no second-guessing it, not after this.
He decided to gather himself a little more and decided to head out to find you. He had these questions that needed answers. He turned to look at his mother who was still there. "Watch the house while I am away. We will be gone for a while." He states. His mother went to speak but before she could retort with a comment he was out the door and off to the stables.
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After a few hours of looking and getting a general idea of where you were he stopped, getting off the carriage he approached, standing a good distance behind as you stood there, talking to another man. Oh, this did not sit well with him, but he watched and observed. With a lick of his lips and a look of heartache, as you touched the other man's face, he couldn't help but feel that slithering snake of a mother of his was right.
The more he watched, the more you laughed, the closer this man seemed to be getting to you, and the more it climbed up him like ivy claiming lattice fencing. This green envious monster coils around his every nerve, his nostrils flair as he walks toward you and clears his throat, but you don't pay much attention until he grabs your arm and pulls you to him.
You gasp and look over his face. "My Love, what are you doing here?" You ask him.
"I could ask you the very same." He states. His stare was cold, his stare pained, and his stare… it bore into you like a hot glue gun into plastic.
"I am just out with a friend, we do this every week. It means nothing." You state honestly.
"Does it? Does it really mean nothing? You were touching his face, and laughing with him like you do with me. Do I not make you happy anymore? Have you grown bored and weary of me?" He asks you with a small shake in his voice almost as if holding back tears.
"Of course you make me happy, why would you ask such a thing?" you respond back looking into his stormy blue hues.
His jaw clenches and he looks at your friend and back to you. "We are leaving." He states as if dismissing you from your date with your male friend.
"What? No. Alexei, no." you stated.
"I do not know him, nor do I like how you were touching him, we are going somewhere. You'll like it. Get in." he states and gestures to the carriage.
"Alexei, no." You state firmly.
He clenches his jaw and looks over you. "Do not make me put you in there myself. Now. Be a good wife, and get in the carriage." He snarls lowly.
Licking your lips you look over his face and let out a slight breath before getting into the carriage. Feeling the shake of the carriage from the door closing. Placing your hands in your lap you look down, studying them a moment before you close your eyes almost in defeat, and wonder where he is taking you. It was clear he wasn't taking you home. Why was he suddenly acting this way? What was it that made him feel like you were unhappy? You began to study yourself, you even began to question yourself. But why? His actions alone.
His actions just then made you question if this was really where you needed to be. But the more you thought about it, the more you realized that maybe he was seeing something you were not seeing. Were you really happier with your friend than you were with him? Was he not seeing how much you loved him? Were you really doing something bad? You turn back and look at him as he stops the carriage and climbs into the back of it with you as someone else takes over. Someone he had paid to drop you both off and take the carriage back to the house.
You sit there, in silence, and you study him, you study his face, his eyes, how his jaw twitches, how his brow knits, how his eyes seem to be full of sorrow, and maybe is that hate? You look down, and you think about all you've done, but you can't help but shake your head. You love this man, and he was blind to false things. Was there a way to fix it? Was there a way to get him to see that you love him just as much as he loves you?
"Where are we going? There is nothing for miles." You point out looking out the little window of the carriage door.
"We're going someplace secluded." He states.
"Secluded? Whatever for?" You ask with a slight bit of worry in your tone.
"Enough with the questions, you will see when we get there." He states, short in his tone.
You lick your lips and hike a brow before looking back down at your lap and letting out a slight sigh. You feel this could get problematic.
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By the time you get to where you were going, the sun had already set and come back up. You look over his face as he offers to help you off the carriage. Your jaw clenches and you shake your head.
"Are you serious? Why are we here? We are days away from home at this rate Alexie." You point out.
HE shakes his head and looks at you and looks over the country home before looking back at you. "You will survive. This is for a reason."
"THIS IS ABSURD!" You scream. The only thing you cause to stir is birds out in the field. Your jaw clenches and you look over him shoving past him and heading toward the inside.
He sighs slightly and shakes his head, he isn't expecting you to understand. Rubbing his brow a moment he looks up at the gray skies and then over on the vast rolling fields of nothing. A small smile creeps across his face as he listens to the front door being slammed. Another soft sigh escapes his lips as he heads toward the house.
Upon walking in he looks around and spots you standing there in the living room. As he walks toward you to join you, you turn and look at him.
"What is all of this about?" You ask.
"You need to see how much love I have for you. I cannot do that back there." He stated honestly.
"So you isolate me?!" You raise your tone.
"Yes! It keeps you away from another man touching you!" He snaps.
"NO ONE ELSE IS TOUCHING ME!" You snap back.
"HOW DO I KNOW?!" He steps closer to you.
"No. You don't get to ask me that question! How do you not see that I love you!? I have always loved you!" You snarl as you step forward challenging him.
"Well, I suppose now you can show me just how much you love me as I show you how much I love you." He stated coldly.
"Don't be so pigeon-livered." You growl to yourself. "You're being a floozer Alexei. What has ever gotten into you?" You ask him.
"Are you really going to throw insults at me? Pigeon-livered? Floozer? Do not." He grips your arm and pulls you close. "Do not cross me."
You shove him and look over his face. "Or what?" You ask with a tightly knitted brow. "What are you going to do?"
Stretching his neck from left to right he licks his lips and his jaw clenched.
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!" You snapped.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!" He snapped back. He began to pace. "All I ever do is shower you with love and attention, I do nothing but prove to you how much you mean to me. I make sure you always put your best forward. And you do this. Run off with another man doing god knows what." He states.
Crossing your arms over your chest you stare at him a moment and blink a few times. "Are you blinded by your own selfishness right now? Can you not see past your own nose? I am not laying with another man Alexei! I have never laid with another man!" you snap.
"HOW DO I KNOW THAT?!" He snaps. "How do I know that?" He asked you. A complete and utter look of defeat sprawled across his features.
Walking to him you slap him across the face. Not once, but twice. Reaching forward he grips your throat and moves you through the house. Kicking open a door he shoves you into the bedroom and starts to unbutton his jacket. Looking over you his eyes hungry. His snarl was fierce, his jaw clenched so hard you could hear the bones grinding and you could feel the flex of his jaw. You try to shove past him but that wasn't happening.
"What are you going to do rape me Alexei?" You ask.
He scoffed and looked over at you. "Do you think that little of me? Strip." He demands.
"No." You cross your arms. At this point, you were fighting him to fight, how far could you push?
"I said strip!" He demands again. Walking to you he spins you around and starts to untie your skirt.
Layer by layer you fight, until you are both stripped down to mere thin layers. Tears staining your face, you look over him and shake your head, a small thumping sound of your heart feeling like it was echoing in the room.
"All I have ever wanted was for you to love me. You have to love me, you must love me." He states. He steps closer to you, looking over you he grips your face and pulls you near. "You will love me. You will." He states firmly.
Scared at this point you cannot find your words. He presses his lips to yours and at first, you give in, you cave, you wrap your arms around him and kiss him deeply, lovingly, longing for that affection he wanted to give you, but then you start to push away, saddened by the fact that he couldn't believe you, that he had no trust in you.
"No…" You start to push away, but you didn't want him to at the same time, it was this conflicting feeling.
"Do not tell me no, you want this…" he points out as he listens to your breathing.
You have no means of responding.
"I'm not taking that as a no." he states.
You give him a cold stare, looking over his face, his lips press against yours and you shove him back, and he throws you to the bed. You bounce once before he climbs on top of you and looks you over. He tilts his head and looks over your face and takes your wrists and places them above your head and looks over your face intently.
You attempt to wiggle free but he hovers over you, his body pressed against yours. In one hand he has your hands gripped together, in the other hand hikes up your skirt, he looks over you, and he leans in and nips at your lips. Your breathing becomes heavier, and you close your eyes. Shaking your head you begin to breathe heavier. It felt good, his hands on you, it always felt good, but there was this sense of fight that also washed over you.
As his lips found your neck he kissed up your neck to your jaw, finding your lips. While you loved his affection, you were terrified. Literally scared of him.
"Get off of me." you demand.
"Let me show you. See how much I love you." He takes your hand and places it on his hard cock. "This is how much I love you." He states.
You pull your hand away and turn your head in another direction. His senses overwhelm him, and unable to control himself he groans softly as he presses himself against you. You turn your head away from him, maybe checking out, but at the same time ever so present in this moment. As he thrusts himself into you you take in a deep breath. A whimper leaves your lips as a groan leaves his.
Looking over you he observes your features as he turns your face to look at him, leaning in he kisses you again. And it was then you cave, just a little. Your lips pressed against his, your hand moved up his arms to his hair and you pull him closer. Your hips roll against his thrusts and you begin to whimper against his lips. The feeling of him against you was something you always loved. Truthfully you never questioned this man's love for you. But you were conflicted because of how he was coming at you. You didn't know if you should fight him, or cave to him a little more.
The more he thrusts the harder he becomes in his motions, the more you fight. But the more you fight, the more he growls, it was a conflicting feeling all over again and you aren't sure what to do, it was overwhelming. You push him away, shoving him but he pulls you closer.
Feeling your body flush against his you let out another soft whimper. You move your hands to his shoulders as you feel him thrust deeper into you, your moans escaping you were almost pained but yet pleasure-filled. Your hips rolled against his as he continued to thrust with a fever. He pulls you even closer to him, pulling you into his lap as he guides you along his stiffened cock, nuzzling into you, nipping and biting at you.
The moans fill the bedroom, bouncing off the windows and the walls, and while you might be fighting him because of his choice of actions, this man was your life. You kiss him deeply as you both moan in pure pleasure. Your bodies collide in such a raw motion. Thrust after thrust, grunt, and groan after grunt and groan, screams of pure euphoria leaving you both. It all came to a halt with a trembling body-shaking finish, feeling as his cock twitched inside of you as hot ribbons of seed coat your velvet walls. He snarled against your skin, and you bring a hand across his face, and you begin to cry.
Holding you close, he looks down at you, smoothing your hair he presses his face against you.
"Shh… now now, everything is alright. I love you, so much." He whispers. "You have to love me back, you just have to." he says softly.
"I… I do love you, Alexei. I do. I wish you would see that." you say between sniffles.
He holds you close, nuzzling against you. "Shall we draw you a bath?" He asks.
Nodding your head he looks over your face and nods. "I shall draw you a bath. Think about what I said." He states.
"Are you isolating me? From everyone?" you ask as he gets up and slips his pants back on.
With a firm stare, he looks over you. "I am, and it's for our own good. You won't be seeing him, we will stay here as long as it takes." He states truthfully.
And like that, your heart becomes conflicted, you love this man, but you feel scared of this man… but then you look at him, and you don't feel afraid anymore. You just want him to see that you do love him. It's conflicting, and it's terrifying, you love him, but is it true? Staying here, you're only choice is to grow to love him. But that's been his goal all along, for you to love him, and for him to show you in so many ways how he loves you.
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luveline · 2 years ago
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Hey jade, for the mini blurb what do you think about hotch cuddling a sleepy reader? Needing all the lovely fluff and comfort
thank you for your request! ♥︎ bau!fem!reader
Public displays of affection aren't Hotch's thing. He likes to keep work appropriate, because he is a professional, and because the team is prone to ridicule him fondly whenever he shows positive emotion, but you're tired and you'd had a hard time on the last case. 
He thinks that this might still count as professional, anyway. It's conducive to your continued wellbeing. 
"Here," he says, watching your head bob for the third time in as many minutes. He pulls up the armrest that had been keeping you apart and takes your wrist under the table. "You can lean on me." 
He can feel Spencer's gaze from the seat across. Hotch doesn't know who'd be more embarrassed if he looked up, him or Spencer, so he keeps his gaze on you. 
You don't protest though public displays certainly aren't your thing either. It's indicative of how tired you are. How in need of some softness, maybe. You press your cheek to his shoulder and breathe in a sigh. 
"Thanks, Aaron," you whisper. 
He hums. "Of course. Try and get some rest, alright? We have hours to burn." 
"You could rest, too." 
Hotch has a briefcase full of paperwork to finish if he wants to see you or Jack this weekend. "I will," he lies, knowing he can get you sleeping before you realise his lie. 
You smile into his arm. He can feel the shape of your lips through his shirt as though they were pressed to bare skin, and the feeling it encourages is exactly why he stays away from public displays. 
You don't fall straight into sleep as he'd expected. He waits for the deepening of your breathing and for your weight to crush his arm, but you only lie there in silence. Your hand curls around his elbow loosely. 
He chances a glance at Spencer. The younger man's still reading his novel, a Russian classic in the original language, so Hotch takes the opportunity to bestow some sweetness. 
"Are you alright?" he asks. 
You nod soundlessly. Hotch presses his lips to your head in not quite a kiss and raises the arm you aren't huddled into. His hand falls to your waist, where he tugs you closer over the lip of the chair, and sets about rubbing up and down your side. Your shirt bunches under his touch, his fingers gracing a slice of bare skin. He's swift to pull it down, but that split second of skin to skin seems to have been all you need. You sink into his side and fall asleep.
Hotch closes his eyes. He thinks of your smell, your skin, and the gentle clasp of your fingers against his arm. You make him feel content in a way he hadn't realised he could. To feel loved as you love him, to know he can soothe you into sleeping just about anywhere if you have his hand on your hip, Hotch can't describe how fortunate he feels. 
"Is he sleeping?" Emily whispers. "They're so cute!" 
Hotch would roll his eyes if he could keep them open. "Let's keep our vocabulary work appropriate," he says quietly. 
"...Yes, sir."
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kombuuuu · 1 year ago
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Thinking ab Miles (42) going to his uncle’s place specifically when him n his s/o aren’t on good terms because his first reaction is going to be to blame himself and his room is just gonna remind him of how guilty he is
“Call them, man.”
“…”
“Miles.”
“Hm?”
“It’s been hours. Don’t you dare let them go to bed without being absolutely positive they aren’t questioning your love for them.”
“But-”
“No buts. The worst thing you can do is go to bed upset with each other.”
“Hey Ma…”
“Miles.”
The sudden cracking of his phone speaker dragged his gaze upward, looking to the skies through fogging windows in seek of solace, strength.
It was quiet, now. The conversation hadn’t even started before a pause halted it into null. He was nervous. And he didn’t know what to do about. And the goddamn skies weren’t answering.
“I—.. I don’t know how to—,” His voice cracked and broke, thick hurt coating his throat. ‘Don’t swallow honey, it’ll get stuck.’
“Miles, please.”
You called out to him, and he swears to the very Moon he’s begging to that he could hear that plea without the speakers. That if you were to ever say his name in such a way, he wouldn’t need the phone to hear it. He’d know—, and he’d run to you like he wished to now.
“Come home.”
Your sullen voice trembled, and he could almost see the tears paint your cheeks. The image of you, in pain of his causing — it was enough to bring a man to his knees. To shred him of his dignity and make him beg for forgiveness.
A dignity he never quite had. He has been begging for you since he first met your eye.
“I will, baby, I will.”
“Please, Miles. I don’t wann’ be alone.”
“Oh, Chiquita.”
He’d make it up to you. He’d buy you enough flowers to last you a lifetime, to outlive your beating heart and flourish along the grave your lifeless body rest in. He’d ruin you for any other man. Raise your standards so high maybe you’d leave him for someone better than him.
And yet, he’d already seared his initials into the space in your heart. Made himself comfortable resting against your lungs and lulling himself to sleep with the breaths you took in.
Maybe you’d leave him for a better man —,
But no man would be better for you than him.
“I’m coming home. Just wait for me, yeah?”
“Yeah..” You mumbled, and he could hear the exhaustion in your voice, the promise of sleep and sound of his comfort creating a calmness after the storm.
He grabbed his keys, basically jogging to the exit and all but ripping the door open. Making eye contact with Aaron, the man gave a curt nod and reassuring smile, something that Miles returned, before he was out the door and halfway down the steps.
“I’ll be there soon, baby, okay?”
“Don’t hang up?”
lI won’t, promise.”
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madcatlad · 10 months ago
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Aaron Needs Friends
Having him be aloof and mysterious was cool for the first few adventures, but for the amount of time that Aaron was traveling with Aph he should have been making SOME sort of relationship with her squad. This man was present since BEFORE Garroth was lost to the Irene Dimension. Yet all anyone had to say about him was "I didn't know much about him" "he was a good man". The group didn't even need to know him all that well, or be super close. He didn't need to expose all his secrets or be particularly socialable. But you're telling me that during the span of time that Aaron was around the same people, all the time, risking their lives...and he didn't interact with them on a more personal level? He ONLY interacts with Aphmau. That just isn't human nature.
I vaguely remember multiple characters getting shamed or dismissed for being concerned about his intentions. But looking back that is completely valid! From Aph's perspective, Aaron is a good guy who had proved himself, and doesn't need to explain himself ever. From everyone else's perspective, he is a complete stranger, with vague intentions and questionable goals, who they have know for at least a year in close proximity but goes out of his way (quite literally every single time) to interact with NO ONE but Aphmau.
Suspicious Behavior. That or he seems rude. But their distrust of that kind of put out is not unbased. Especially when his past comes to light, yet he is still no more than a stranger, and shown to be purposefully secretive. Suspicious Behavior. But the cast is supposed to ignore all that because...? "He's a good guy" how would anyone else know that?
I mean he doesn't have to open up to them in great lengths and cry about his tragic life, but by time he died he should have had a surface level relationship with the main gang. More than never knowing jack about him as a person. Training/mentoring with Laurence, amicable acknowledgement with Garroth, maybe teasing flusterable Katelyn. A joke or two outside of Aphmau. Just any amount of relationship outside of Aphmau. Please.
Otherwise his mysteriousness becomes an archetype instead of characterization. And it became more of a hindrance to the story, especially later on.
Having Aaron never build relationships with anyone BUT Aphmau sets him aside in a way that is very odd. Aaron is essentially NOT a character, but a plot point. He only exists to advance the plot, add suspense, or subvert the plot. But he himself had no character- other than grief.
And it especially took away from the significance of his DEATH! When he died the only person really grieving HIM was Aphmau. Everyone was sad for HER. It made so Aph could be sad but - "oh nobody else understands my grief". While Aph was grieving nobody could really grieve with her. It isolated her in a way so jarring and disconnected from the story it felt more like a plot diversion than a plot point. And everyone just continued with their respective plots, yet the STORY had to come to a screeching HALT after Aaron's death because aph was mouring and she is quite literally OUR EYES.
There in lies the problem. NOBODY could mourn for Aaron, because he was a stranger. But HE DIED! He died without ever getting to grow or build new relationships as his story was clearly building up to do. HE DIED with no mourners! What kind of depressing precedent is that?!? "You don't need to grow past your grief, and build new relationships after great lost! You just need to be HOT and (somehow impregnate) the main character! Plot 😃".
What a Lackluster death for a character!! A main character!!! To be mourned by no one. It should have been Aaron's death that brought the story to a halt, the fact that they had lost HIM. Not that Aphmau had lost him.
Aaron's death should have affected the entire cast, or at least the main one who had traveled with him so long! Yet everyone else is allow to move on as they would because essentially they lost nothing.
Yeah, we were all sad when Aaron died as kids. Because Aphmau was sad (that scream was something else). And, yes, Aaron's death was sad. But imagine how devastating it would be if EVERYBODY knew him- to some capacity- if everyone mourned his passing. Imagine how much more significance it would bring to his SACRIFICE.
Aaron was a man with nothing to lose from DAY ONE. BUT HE STAYED THAT WAY! He never grew! What kind of sacrifice is it for a man with nothing to live for, no mortal ties, to sacrifice his life.
It dumbs down his death to in essence, achieve his ONLY goal in life: revenge, and make his girlfriend-not-girlfriend happy.
He A STRANGER. Not because HE necessarily wanted Garroth back, but because Aphmau wanted Garroth back. It doesn't work well. Aaron should have sacrificed himself for Garroth because HE wanted to, because HE cared for Garroth.
It objectified him in a sense. His decisions- his world revolves around Aphmau, and only her? (And Zane strangely enough). He has free will but his choices like agency, desire, depth. He's a means to and end, hardly a character. He experienced no growth, no change, no discomfort.
He only experienced pain and Aphmau. Tragic.
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ssa-atlas-alvez · 5 months ago
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It Takes A Village Part 1 (Y/N Hotchner)
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Warnings: some foul language, criminal minds level amount of gore
A/N: sorry this took so long to do lol it turned out to be mostly what I've written before lol
You weren’t pissed per se, just more… shocked, and maybe a little hurt, that Derek hadn’t spoken to you. One moment you were trying to fill out paperwork from a million different files, the next Derek and Garcia were telling the team they had found Declan. You had opted to wait with Garcia for Aaron to come back. It had been a hot minute since you’d seen him.
“Holy shit, you grew a beard?!” Is the first thing that slips out of your mouth. 
From there, everything was a blur. Doyle was in custody, he wasn’t exactly being helpful - which was annoying as it was his son you were trying to find afterall. 
“You get anywhere with Doyle?” Reid asked, as JJ, Derek, and Rossi walked back into the round table room.
“Doyle doesn’t think Gerace has the guts to take him on.” Derek said, you rolled your eyes. Of course he doesn’t, the man has a massive ego.
“But that’s definitely Gerace on the tape.” Garcia sighed as she sat down. 
Derek turned to your brother as he walked into the room. “Welcome back.”
“Thanks. Everybody take a seat.” You frowned, his tone (and eyebrows) indicating that something was definitely up. 
“Why? What’s going on? Is everything alright?” Derek asked, taking a seat next to you.
Aaron looked at you all, you were with Jack on this, you were not a fan of the beard. “Seven months ago I made a decision that affected this team.” Your brother stated. “As you all know Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle.”
You swallowed, hand reaching for Derek’s under the desk.
“But the doctors were able to stabilise her.” Aaron continued. “And she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfiltration.”
You looked at your brother in disbelief, this didn’t make any sense. “Her identity was strictly need-to-know. And she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security.” 
“She’s alive?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. 
“But we buried her.” Reid stated, looking up at Hotch from his seat. 
“As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me.”
“Any issues?” Derek asked, his voice clipped. “Yeah, I got issues.”
You turned, seeing Emily. Your face dropped. What the fuck. Maybe you were going insane? That was the only other option. Otherwise your brother had lied to you. The one person (apart from Derek) that you thought would never lie to you.
You turned to Aaron, who winced when he saw the hurt and betrayal that filled your eyes. You took a deep breath and just like that, the mask was up and the betrayal was hidden. You turned to Emily, “It’s great to see you’re okay,”
“It’s good to see you too.” She said, giving you a smile. 
You listened patiently as they all discussed the case. You didn’t have it in you. You just listened. As they continue, realising that the alpha of the team (a phrase you struggled to take seriously) was in fact a woman. When the team parted ways to investigate, you stood to make your way to the bathroom. 
“(Y/N)-”
“I don’t want to speak to you right now,”
“(Y/N), please just listen-”
“What, Aaron? You are the one person I could always trust and I did,” You paused, “There was no one else I trusted completely. I trusted you so much, you’re my big brother Aaron. I’ve always trusted you- not mum, not dad, heck I don’t even trust Sean as much, but you? I’ve always trusted you,”
“I’m sorry,” Aaron said, “We couldn’t tell anyone, it was for Emily’s safety,”
“We?”
“Me and JJ,”
“Right,” You said shortly, “JJ knew.”
“Just let me explain,”
“There’s nothing to explain.” You said shortly. “Emily’s alive and you chose to keep it from me.” 
“I had to,”
“Why because of protocol? Because it needed to be confidential?” You knew what you said was right because Aaron’s eyebrow softly twitched. “Who else would I have told Aaron? Who else? I don’t speak to anyone outside of this team! I don’t have a family, a Haley, a Will, children, fuck, I don’t even have a Sergio! I’ve got this team, that’s it! I wouldn’t have told anyone because I don’t have anyone to tell! You know that. That’s what hurts Aaron. So no, I don’t want to listen to you come up with some lame, half-ass excuse about safety.”
“(Y/N), I couldn't tell you in case you told anyone.” 
“Who would I have fucking told Aaron?! Who would I have told?!” You yell, fist slamming into the desk in front of you. “I have fuck all else! My life is this team and that's it! And you fucking know it! So please, tell me, who would I have told!”
You watch Aaron open his mouth for a split second before closing as he looks down.
“You know what, Aaron? Go fuck yourself. I can’t be fucked to deal with this right now.” You give him a tight smile before walking away.
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igotanidea · 1 year ago
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Christmas party: Aaron Hotchner x reader
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christmas bingo day 2 : christmas party
***
Third annual BAU Christmas party was supposed to be the most important thus far.
Partially because Y/N could not attend previous two, due to her shot injury in year one and some family matters in year two.
But the other reason why it was so crucial, was that she was going to go with Hotch. And not just as BAU colleagues and team mates.  
No.
They were going as couple, though Hotch with his reserved persona and everything that happened in his love life before, was fairly reluctant to use this tag to describe them.
And Y/N understood this perfectly.
But Hotch’s harshness and skin deep coldness was not going to take away her excitement and holiday spirit.
Especially not after the little shopping spree with Emily, JJ and Penelope.
Y/N found just the right dress, fitting her body like a glove and was trying it one once again in the peacefulness of the house spinning around in front of the mirror, admiring how good it lied down, when a single sound of throat clearing threw her back to reality.
„Haley is sick.” Hotch said as if that was explaining everything. He had his signature unreadable expression and slight frown on the face, but for a second even the chief of the BAU couldn’t cover the tiniest glint in his eyes as he noticed Y/N’s new purchase.
„Hm. Okay....” she muttered in response. She really didn’t like it when Aaron mentioned his ex-wife. „Thanks for the information, but I think you missed steps 1-5 of why does this concern me.”
Maybe it was a bit heartless and cruel of her to say it, but truly no one could blame her for getting a bit possessive and jealous. After all, Haley was the woman he had a son with - oh wait, a son. All of a sudden she realised what this was about and looked at Hotch with poorly hidden disappointment in her eyes.
„I have to take care of Jack.” he just said and she filled in the rest.
They were not going to go.
She opened her mouth and closed them almost instantly. There were so many ideas in her head of how to remedy this sudden emergency. Jack’s grandparents, who would most definitely love to have the little boy over for a few hours. A babysitter. A night kindergarten. Or maybe they could left Jack sleeping through the night hoping he would not wake? Besides, was Hayley really so sick that she couldn’t have her son around her? Maybe she was just doing this on purpose cause she wanted Hotch back in her life, despite being the one to divorce him? There must have been a way for Aaron to still attend the banquet...
 And that’s when it hit her.
She was being a terrible person having thoughts like that.
Jack was just a little boy, not a bargaining chip. And trying to come up with a plan to get rid of him (in some way,even if just temporarily) was straightforward cruel and completely heartless. Honestly, at this point Y/N was ashamed of herself and of putting her own needs and wishes to show off as couple before standing by Hotch’s side.
„Y/N.” he said again with that deep, calm voice letting her know that he already analised her behaviour and face expression enough to know what was going on in her head.
„I’m sorry...” she muttered
„I can’t go the Christmas party.” he stated
„Oh, cause you wanted to attend it so much, right?” she rolled her eyes and chuckled causing him to lift the right corner of his mouth.
„But you wanted to.”
„Doesn’t matter.” she shook her head „three time’s the charm, maybe next year I’ll have more luck to actually get drunk and make a scene legitimately.”
„Y/N. You can still go by -”
„Nope.  Not a word Hotch. Not going without you. We’re a team remember. Not just as work. Not leaving you. Besides, I got a feeling it’s time for me to properly meet your son, don’t you think?”
***
Hotch didn’t say a word of objection and even though he never showed it, he was melting (inside) watching Y/N playing with Jack next to the Christmas tree. They were both splayed on the warm blanket on the floor, their happy faced illuminated by the Christmas light making them look like home. And when they both fell asleep on the couch, Jack holding onto Y/N with his little fingers wrapped around her midsection Hotch was pretty convinced that no fancy party could be better than this view in front of his eyes,
@somest1
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austinshotbutlers · 2 years ago
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The Wedding Date - Part Six
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!BAU!Reader
Summary: Your sister's wedding is approaching fast and the thought of showing your boyfriend off to you family and your ex-boyfriend seems like a very appealing idea. The only problem is... you don't have a boyfriend. Luckily your stony faced, serious, sexy boss has agreed to be your fake boyfriend for the weekend. What could possibly go wrong?
Word count: 4.6K
TW: Swearing, smut (unprotected sex, oral F! receiving) and bad writing?
A/N: A lot happens on this chpater but I hope its nice and smooth to read 😬 but we’re finally at the last chapter!!! I hope you’ve enjoyed it all. Like I said before, i plan to write a prologue and epiloge and still have two social media AUs to post! Thank you for all the love and support!
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You were stood with your ear pressed against the door in the hopes of hearing the conversation between Tom and Sarah. You were able to make out little snippets here and there when suddenly your mom came bounding over. “What’s going on?” She asked. “Sarah is meant to be walking down the aisle in five minutes.”
“Mom… shhhh.” You said turning to her. “Sarah is just… having a minute to calm her nerves.” You lied.
“Ok, well please tell her to hurry up, the guests are getting antsy! I’ll just go and get your father.” And she walked off down the hall. As soon as she was out of sight, you pressed your ear back against the door.
“Tom, I just can’t tell you how sorry I am I never told you.” Sarah choked out.
“Look baby, I don’t care! It happened before we were together. I just needed a minute to process that you slept with Luke. I mean, I know he’s my friend and everything but Luke? Really?” Tom said with a slight jokiness.
“Do you still want to go ahead with this?” Sarah asked meekly.
“Hell yes, I do! But from this day forth, we tell each other everything ok?” Tom said. “If this marriage thing is gonna work honey, we need to be truthful.”
“Of course!” Sarah said, her tone a little cheerier.
“I actually think you should thank your sister.” Tom began and you could hear the eye roll in Sarah’s scoff. “I’m glad she got you to tell me actually. I’d much prefer to have heard it from you than Luke, we know his reputation for blurting things out.”
“I guess you’re right. I mean, I just told her she was a shitty sister when I’m the shitty one.” Sarah sighed and you triumphantly smiled to yourself. Sarah never admitted she was wrong so to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth, it was music to your ears. “I mean, what the hell was I thinking about sleeping with Luke in the first place? I think I was just desperate for your attention.”
“And it worked,” Tom replied. “Come on, let’s do this thing.”
You heard Tom’s footsteps towards the door and frantically scrambled away from your position where your ear has been pressed up against the wood. Tom opened the door and looked at you with a bright smile on his face, followed by a big thumbs up. He then made his way down the hallway, presumably to wait for your sister at the altar.
You cautiously walked towards your sister and knocked lightly at the door. Sarah hastily turned around and looked at you. She didn’t say a word, but you knew by the way she tilted her head, she was inviting you into the room. You slowly walked in and stopped a few steps in front of Sarah.
“So…” you started. “Is everything…” You didn’t know how to finish the sentence.
“Y/N.” Sarah cut you off. “I’m sorry. Utterly and completely sorry. Sorry for what I did, sorry for not telling you, just sorry for being a shitty sister.” “Thank you.” You replied. “I guess maybe I should apologise as well but I was hurt. I just couldn’t believe you kept it a secret from me for so long.”
“And I completely understand that Y/N! You don’t have to apologise.” Sarah said and you were shocked to hear the words leave her lips. Never did you think you’d be hearing Sarah take accountability for her actions while also justifying your own.
“How did Tom take the news?” you asked despite knowing.
“He was hurt I didn’t tell him sooner, of course he has every right to be upset about it.” Sarah started. “But he still wants to get married!” and you could hear the relief in her voice and a bright smile filled her face.
“You will still be my maid of honour, won’t you?” Sarah asked, worry wavering in her voice.
“Of course, I will Sarah.” You smiled. “You’re still my sister… despite the shitty things you may have done.”
“Thank you!” she exclaimed, pulling you in for a tight hug. “Thank you so much sissy.”
***
You found Aaron hovering outside the entrance to the hall the ceremony was about to take place. He was watching people fidgeting in their seats as they awaited the bride’s entrance.
“Hey!” you smiled as you reached him. Aaron turned around to face you and a smile grew on his face. Aaron was relieved to see you in a happier mood than a mere 30 minutes ago.
“Everything ok?” He asked.
“Everything is good. I actually received several apologies from Sarah. Something I never thought I’d hear to be honest.” You began. “Oh! And I guess it’s good news that the wedding is still going ahead.”
“That’s great then.” Aaron smiled and leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m glad you sorted everything but remember, you have every right to be upset with the situation.”
Your heart melted at his words, and you leaned up to peck another quick kiss on his lips.
“Thank you,” you whispered to him.
“I just want you to know, your feelings are valid and justified,” Aaron added.
“I know Aaron and I love you for being just so perfect.” You smiled brightly and a pink tint tinged the tips of Aaron’s ears. He wrapped his arms around your waist while yours slid up his arms to perch around his neck.
“I love you, Agent Hotchner.” You smiled.
“I love you too Agent Y/L/N.” Aaron replied placing his lips on yours once again in a searing kiss.
“What do you think you’re doing!” Your mom hissed through her teeth causing you and Aaron to hastily pull apart from each other.
“Aaron, go find your seat! Y/N, where is your bouquet?” Your mom frantically barked her orders. “Sarah is about to walk down the aisle. Quick get into positions!”
“I’ll see you soon.” You whispered to Aaron before he escorted your mom down the aisle to their seats.
Then, the excited bridesmaids began to clamber into the hallway, arranging themselves in the correct order and checking all their dresses were straight and their bouquets looked perfect. Next came Sarah, looking so flawless despite the chaotic last hour, with her arm firmly folded into your dad’s.
“Are we all ready?” Sarah asked excitedly and a wave of murmurs and excited whispers followed from the crowd of bridesmaids.
“Are you ready?” you asked Sarah and she nodded eagerly.
“I’m so ready!” Sarah replied.
You smiled at her and took your position, ready to walk down the aisle. The music started to play and off you went.
***
“More champagne?” Aaron asked, offering the bottle.
“Yes please.” You smiled, passing your glass to Aaron. He took it and filled it up perfectly with the bubbly beverage before handing the glass back to you.
“You looked so beautiful during the ceremony,” Aaron said to you as you took a sip from your champagne flute.
“Flattery will get you everywhere Mr Hotchner.” You laughed, placing a hand on his thigh.
Aaron placed his hand on top of yours and smiled at you before the two of you looked around the room at everyone as they finished their meals. Sarah and Tom were giggling away at their table at the front while Livvy was flirting with one of the groomsmen she had been put with for the ceremony.
“Everyone has finished their meals.” You groaned, burying your head into Aaron’s neck.
“Yes?...” He responded slightly confused.
“So it means it’ll be speeches soon and I cannot stand public speaking.” You sighed.
Aaron laughed which caused you to sit up and shoot him a glare.
“Why are you laughing?” You asked slightly annoyed. “This is my worst nightmare.”
“I’m not laughing at you.” Aaron replied. “It’s just funny that you can deliver a profile to police officers you’ve never met before but can’t make a speech in front of people you know.”
“Well, there’s a slight difference.” You said. “There are a lot more people here than at any police station.”
Aaron just chuckled as he placed a soft kiss on your temple. “You’ll be fine,” he murmured against your skin.
Suddenly, the sound of a knife being tapped against a glass caught everyone’s attention and every guest turned to face the bride and groom. Tom was stood up and pulled a paper from his suit pocket, unfolding it carefully before holding it out, ready to read his speech. One by one, everyone made their speeches, Tom, Sarah, your dad, Tom’s mom and Luke (whose speech was fortunately short, snappy and a little bit awkward) before it was your turn. Aaron squeezed your hand reassuringly as you stood up, everyone’s eyes shifting to you.
You cleared your throat before speaking. “Hi everyone. I hope you’ve all been enjoying yourselves so far. Don’t worry! I am the last speechmaker for the night so as soon as I’m done, you’re free to head to the bar.” You joked and a few laughs echoed around the room. You ran your hands down the front of your dress, your palms sweaty from nerves. “Sarah. I remember when we were younger, you would cut pictures out of mom’s magazines to design your own wedding in your scrapbook. They were always so big and extravagant with bright pink dresses and crazy venues like Disneyland. But I also remember the hours I spent tidying up all your paper scraps and rubbish,” You laughed and others joined in including Sarah. “You always knew exactly what you wanted and I guess I was jealous of you in that way. You had your life perfectly planned out while I was stuck deciding if I wanted to profile criminals or not, much to Mom’s dismay.” And this time your dad’s laugh caught your ears. “And I’ll be honest, I had been dreading your wedding, I really had! But now that I’m here, while we may have had our rocky patches over the last few days, you’ll always be my sister and I want you to be happy, I know you and Tom will have a very happy life together. To Tom and Sarah!” you said, raising your glass and everyone followed.
You immediately sat back down and released a breath.
“That was perfect,” Aaron muttered as you sat. “I think I saw Sarah wipe away some tears.”
“Phew, at least I didn’t fuck that up.” You replied and watched as the guests began to file through the doors to the dancefloor and bar. “Come on, let's go get a drink.”
***
The dance floor was heaving with everyone dancing as the DJ played a mixture of upbeat songs. You and Aaron stood and watched the chaos as you both sipped on a glass of scotch. He had his arm wrapped around your waist while your head rested against his shoulder. The several glasses of alcohol had now begun to go to your head.
“Thank you,” You said. “For agreeing to come with me. Never did I think that the things that happened over the last few days would have happened when you said you’d be my fake boyfriend.”
“I think, agreeing to be your fake boyfriend was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.” Aaron smiled. “Finally having the confidence to tell you how I really feel about you was something I never thought would happen.”
“We also had sex.” You said excitedly and Aaron chuckled to himself, amused by your tipsy revelations.
You were just about to speak again when one of your favourite songs began to play, echoing loudly around the room.
“Oh my god! I love this song.” You smiled brightly and Aaron melted at the sight of how happy you were. “Come on! Let's dance.”
You both put your glasses down on the bar before you dragged Aaron onto the busy dancefloor. You wrapped your arms around his neck while Aaron’s hands found your hips by instinct as you began to sway in time with the music together. You buried your head into Aaron's neck and your knees nearly buckled at the comforting smell of his cologne. Everything felt so perfect.
“How long do you think we have to stay here?” Aaron asked.
“Why? Have somewhere you want to be?” You questioned with a laugh.
“Yes I do,” he smirked. “And it involves you, a bed and no clothes.”
“I like the sound of that,” you smiled, leaning up and placing a kiss on his lips. “How about we stay for another hour and then I’m all yours?”
“Sounds perfect,” Aaron smiled. “I’ll just get us another drink.”
You nodded with a smile and watched as Aaron made his way through the sea of people on the dance floor and towards the bar.
A sweaty hand on your arm drew you from your thoughts and you turned to see Liv with a huge grin plastering her face.
“How has your night been?” She asked.
“Good!” You shouted so Liv could hear you over the music.
“I’m surprised Aaron hasn’t taken you home yet and ripped that dress off you.” She laughed and you rolled your eyes jokingly. “I’m currently trying to persuade Josh to invite me back to his hotel.” And she pointed over to the good-looking, blonde-haired man.
“I think his name is Greg.” You corrected her with a laugh.
“Whatever!” Liv laughed. “He’s hot and it's ritual for a bridesmaid to hook up with a groomsman.”
You laughed and shook your head.
“Here honey,” Aaron’s voice said from behind you and you turned to see him holding out a glass of white wine to you. You took it from him gratefully and Aaron looked over to Liv who was beside you. “Sorry Liv, I would have got you a drink as well,” Aaron said, and a warmth flared in your chest from just how sweet he is.
“Don’t worry about it Aaron,” Liv smiled and then she turned back to you. “Operation ‘hook up with Josh’ is in full swing.”
“Greg!” You corrected her again with a laugh.
“Greg… whatever!” Liv shrugged you off with a laugh as she headed back towards the blonde groomsman.
“What was that about?” Aaron laughed as he took a sip from his bottle of beer before wrapping his arm around your waist.
“Just Liv’s chosen target for the night.” You laughed in response and leaned your head on Aaron’s shoulder.
The night went on as you and Aaron found yourself comfortably seated at a table, drinking wine and sharing kisses every now and then. The dancefloor was still alive with people including your mom and dad as well as Livvy (who was far too busy kissing the groomsman, Greg). Sarah and Tom had cut the cake, which had been shared amongst all the guests before she tossed the bouquet which Tom’s little sister caught (much to her boyfriend’s hatred!).
You looked over to Aaron as he watched the room and leaned into his ear so he could hear you.
“Let’s get out of here,” you said and Aaron could practically hear the smirk in your voice. “We’ve stayed a lot longer than we said we would and now I’m desperate to get you alone.”
Aaron looked into your eyes with a desire that sent butterflies through your stomach.
“Come on,” he said, standing up and taking your hand. “Let’s get a cab.”
You quickly made your way around the room, bidding your farewells to Sarah and Tom, your mom and dad and of course Liv, who gave you a knowing wink as you pulled away from your hug with her.
Once comfortably situated inside a cab on your way home, Aaron had you pulled close to him, littering your neck with soft kisses and occasionally nipping your skin.
“If you keep this up, we’re going to get kicked out of the cab,” you giggled. “And I don’t particularly want to be walking home in these heels.”
“I’ll carry you,” Aaron mumbled between placing kisses down your neck towards your collarbone.
“I… like this side of you,” you breathed out as Aaron’s hand came to rest on your thigh, squeezing it gently. “But we’re nearly home and then I’ll be completely and utterly yours.”
Aaron simply nodded and buried his head in your neck where he stayed the rest of the journey home.
Aaron’s hands were on you the second you walked through the door. He squeezed your hips as his lips met yours in a bruising kiss before trailing down your neck, nipping lightly at your skin. Within seconds, Aaron had you pushed up against the wall, his head ducked down low as he placed sloppily kisses across your cleavage.
“So…. Desperate…” you muttered breathlessly.
“You are irresistible,” Aaron mumbled, lifting his head to look at your face. His gaze was intense and filled with lust and heat settled in the bottom of your abdomen.
“Upstairs?” Aaron suggested but it came out more as a demand.
“Yes Sir,” You replied and flashed him a teasing smile when you saw his eyes darken at the use of the professional name.
The two of you frantically made your way upstairs and headed straight for your bedroom. You slammed the door behind you and kicked off your heels while Aaron began to take off his suit jacket and loosened his tie. You made your way over to him and started to unbutton the crisp white shirt, your fingers delicately brushing over his skin. As soon as he was freed of the white fabric, you leaned up to kiss Aaron and as your lips met in a searing kiss, Aaron’s hands fiddled with the zip at the back of your dress before effortlessly pulling it all the way down. He pulled away from the kiss first, tugging lightly at the silky fabric of the dress to encourage it to slip off your body. Once you had your arms free of the straps, the fabric slipped smoothly down your body and pooled at your feet. Aaron’s breath hitched as he took in your appearance before his lips were back on yours and you could feel his growing erection pushing into you.
“I… I need you,” you managed to mutter between breathless kisses. Your underwear was practically soaking now, you needed Aaron inside of you immediately.
“Get on the bed,” he whispered against your lips in a commanding tone. You did as he instructed and laid on the bed. You looked back up at Aaron’s tall, dominating stance from where he stood looking down at you from the end of the bed. You bit your lip as you looked at the bulge straining against Aaron’s trousers, spreading your legs apart ever so slightly to show Aaron that you were ready for him.
Aaron got down onto his knees and pulled you closer towards him by your ankles. He started kissing gently up your legs, scattering small pecks here and there before he reached your thighs where he then started to nip lightly at the skin. You gasped out in shock at the sudden feeling of his teeth on your skin and were now very aware of how close Aaron was to your soaked pussy.
“A…Aaron,” you breathed out. “I need you…”
“Do you trust me?” Aaron asked from his position between your legs and you nodded quickly.
His fingers hooked under the fabric of your underwear and he began pulling them down your legs until you were completely free of the wet fabric. Aaron then returned to your centre and slowly slid two fingers inside of you.
“So wet already…” Aaron mused as he began to pump his fingers in and out of you gently.
You gasped at the pleasure and grasped at the bed sheets when Aaron’s thumb made contact with your clit. Then suddenly, Aaron ducked his head down and before you could ask what he was doing, his tongue swiped through your wet folds.
“Oh!” you gasped out as Aaron stayed buried between your thighs, his tongue circling around your clit. Your hand found its way into Aaron’s hair, grasping it between your fingers and pulling on it ever so gently.
The taste of your arousal on Aaron’s tongue was enough to push him over the edge as he traced his tongue back and forth through your folds, his tongue swirling and circling again and again around your clit, your hips bucking up slightly at the pleasure.
“You’re…. you’re really good at this,” you managed to whisper through your pleasure. No previous partner had ever gone down on you before, Aaron was opening your eyes to a whole new world of pleasure.
He hummed something from between your thighs and the vibrations that followed through your body were enough to tip you over the edge. Aaron kept teasing his tongue through your folds, his hands had a strong grip on your hips to keep you in place as he pushed his tongue hard around your clit.
“Aaron… I’m going to,” you couldn’t finish your sentence as the orgasm took over your body. The moans that left your throat motivated Aaron to keep teasing and circling your pussy as he began to taste all of you.
Once you came back to your senses, you pulled Aaron up so that he was hovering over you and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him into a desperate, bruising kiss.
“That was… incredible.” You mumbled against his slightly swollen lips. “But now I need you inside of me.”
Aaron chuckled before looking into your eyes and muttering something along the lines of ‘so desperate’ as he pulled back from you and looked down at your naked body.
“Please Aaron…” you groaned as you sat up and impatiently reached for his belt, beginning to unbuckle it.
As soon as Aaron was rid of his trousers and boxers, he was hovering above you and placing kisses along your jaw and neck.
“Ready?” Aaron asked between kisses.
“Yes!” you replied desperately.
Aaron reached down and aligned his cock with your centre, rubbing the head through your wet folds a few times before he slowly pushed himself inside of you. You gasped at the sudden fullness and gripped Aaron’s shoulders, your nails digging into his skin.
“Ok?” Aaron asked and you nodded quickly.
Aaron then began rocking his hips against yours at a teasingly slow pace, nearly pulling out of you before he thrust his length back inside of your pussy.
“Harder.” You said in between your breathless moans and Aaron quickly obliged, his pace quickening as he began to fuck you hard.
“Been thinking about this…” Aaron grunted as he thrust into you. “All day.”
“Me too!” You replied and moaned loudly as Aaron fucked deeper into you, hitting the right stop.
Your moans, Aaron could listen to them all day – they were enough to push him tumbling over the edge, but he tried to restrain himself for as long as he could.
“Touch yourself,” Aaron instructed.
You did as he said and started circling your clit as Aaron’s thrusts began to become sloppy as he reached closer and closer to his own pleasure.
“Fuck!” Aaron hissed as he come inside of you. The sudden heat that filled you up was enough to then push you over the edge into blinding pleasure as Aaron rode out his orgasm.
“Oh! Aaron…” you moaned into his neck, your hands flying up to grip his shoulders as Aaron’s pace began to slow down.
Aaron was mindlessly twiddling his fingers through the ends of your hair as the two of you laid in each other's arms. Your body still tingled with Aaron’s touch and satisfaction flowed through your veins.
“Now all this wedding shit is over, I can finally thank you properly for agreeing to come with me.” You said as you snuggled closer into Aaron’s chest.
“You’ve been thanking me all weekend honey,” Aaron replied and placed a kiss on the top of your head. “Again, if I hadn’t agreed to come with you, I’d still be silently pinning for you from my office.”
“If you hadn’t come, I don’t think I’d have been able to make it through the week without committing murder.” You laughed and sat up to look at him. “And of course, I would never have had the opportunity to tell you how I’ve been madly in love with you since the day I joined the BAU.”
“I love you so much,” Aaron smiled, sitting up slightly so he was now elevated on his arm.
“I love you too.” You smiled brightly and leaned down to capture Aaron’s lips in a quick, chaste kiss. “You have been the best fake boyfriend ever.”
Aaron let out a hearty laugh before looking back at you with nothing but complete adoration in his eyes that made you feel butterflies in your stomach.
“I hope I’m not being too bold to assume that my title has been upgraded?” He asked with an anxious smile.
“Aaron Hotchner is this your attempt to ask me to be your girlfriend?” you laughed and a red tint tinged the tips of Aaron’s ears.
“Well…” Aaron couldn’t find the words.
You laughed loudly before throwing your arms around his neck and peppering his cheek and jawline with kisses.
“I’d love nothing more than to be officially known as your girlfriend.” You smiled and Aaron leaned up to place a bruising kiss on your lips. “You’re now my go-to wedding date.” You smiled brightly and Aaron chuckled.
***
One year later
A knock on his office door drew Aaron from his thoughts. He put down the file he had been looking at and turned to face the door where you were standing.
“Agent Y/L/N,” Aaron said in his ‘professional’ voice. “Come in.”
You walked into the office and shut the door behind you as you produced a pink envelope which Aaron rose an eyebrow at.
“What’s that?” He asked curiously.
“So, big news.” You began, a wide smile spreading across your face. “Livvy’s and Greg’s wedding invitation has just been delivered!”
“Brilliant,” Aaron replied in a monotonous tone, his eyes had drifted back to the file he had previously been reading.
“Aaron! This is important!” You scold him as you sit yourself down on the chair across from his desk.
“Sorry sweetheart, I’m listening. Liv’s wedding invitation, yes?”
“Yes! It’s in 3 months' time. 25th September in LA of course.” You smiled, sliding the invitation across the desk for Aaron to read.
“Is this your way of asking for the time off?” He asked, a teasing look in his eyes.
“you’re so funny…” you rolled your eyes. “I thought you’d know by now baby, you’re always my go-to wedding date remember.”
“Of course! How could I forget.” Aaron replied sarcastically but with a small smile on his lips. “Luckily this time, we won’t have to pretend we’re dating.”
You laughed as you took the invitation back from Aaron. “That’s very true!” Aaron stood up as he walked you to the door of his office.
“So save the date Hotchner, 25th September you’re coming back to LA with me. Back to see my psychotic family.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way Y/L/N.” Aaron chuckled and leaned in to place a soft kiss on your lips.
“Not very appropriate workplace behaviour Sir,” You teased him.
“It’s a good thing my blinds are closed then,” Aaron smirked and ducked his head down to place another searing kiss on your lips.
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stabbyfoxandrew · 3 months ago
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Hellooo
As per usual, I'd like to ask for some arsonist Neil/firefighter Andrew, I'm still stuck on Neil's whole ass gay panic to Andrew calling him cute. Also, the firemen light structure thingy was very funny because the pic totally looks like it could be Neil's
Anyways, thank you and have a good week : )
WIP Wednesday (9/25) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 238)
The call ends and Andrew rolls onto his side to get snuggly-warm in his nest of blankets and pillows. His best adult purchase, he thinks, is this bedding. He smushes his face into one of his pillows and lies there in the dark on the verge of slumber. But, just as he's about to fall asleep, his brain suddenly comes to life and he replays the call in his mind. Did he call 10 cute? Andrew thinks for a moment. Yes. He fucking did. What the hell's the matter with him? Andrew isn't the type to call anyone cute.
He lets out a sigh. Evidently, half-asleep Andrew is the type.
10 didn't call him on it. He must not have noticed. Good, good. Andrew wriggles a bit deeper into his cocoon and goes to sleep.
-
Andrew spends much of the next afternoon pondering a possible gift he could get for 10. He knows it's not needed, but he'll be damned if 10 gives him two presents before Andrew's gotten him one. (The gift basket full of chocolate was the first, of course. Andrew misses those stupid little cookies.)
But it's hard to pick out a present for someone he barely knows. Actually, he knows 10 quite well. He knows about his terrible past and his night terrors and love of fire. He'd guess he knows 10 better than anyone. However, the arsonist hasn't got any (non-arson) hobbies or interests.
Andrew likes to think himself a good gift-giver. Sure, they're usually practical ones. But they're good. The problem is, as far as he knows, 10 doesn't need anything.
See, last year Andrew bought Renee a new backpack. Hers was falling apart, so Andrew scoured the internet and found a duplicate. She loved it.
And for the station's Secret Santa, he drew Wymack's name. So he bought him a nice cushion for his chair. (The old man was constantly complaining of back and hip pain. Andrew fixed it.)
Last Christmas, he and Aaron hadn't exactly been close enough for gifts. Andrew had considered buying him a new remote for his Xbox, because he'd been complaining about it during their calls with Nicky. But he didn't want to shell out that much for a man who hated his guts. So he didn't.
The only other gift he bought last year was a pair of noise-canceling headphones for Kevin, who'd been struggling with the nosiness of planes and team buses. Until Andrew fixed it. (He likes fixing things.) Oh. Speaking of Kevin, Andrew really should thank him for the sweater. He won't. But he should. The asshole. How dare he know Andrew looks good in green before Andrew did. Bastard.
In lieu of a thank you, Andrew sends Kevin the photo he took of last night's outfit. Less than a minute later, his phone nearly vibrates off the table. Renee looks up at him, concerned.
"Everything okay?"
"It's just Kevin."
"Ah." Renee nods and looks back down at her crossword book. From the look of it, she's only got a few left. Maybe he should get a new one and leave it laying around the station. Andrew makes a mental note to do just that and picks up his phone.
Kevin Damn. See, I told you. I fucking told you that would look good on you. Is this the first time you've worn it? I think you could try it with jeans too. And a smile. For fuck's sake, Andrew. You look like the most bored person alive. But good. Really good. I love being right. It's a hobby of mine. Are you not going to answer? Asshole. Andrew Excuse me for taking thirty seconds to reply. Some of us have actual jobs, Day. Kevin Exy is my job. Andrew Exy is your disease. Kevin Which I get paid for. Do you like the sweater? Does this mean I get to buy you clothes now? Andrew Do whatever you want. If you buy me something, I might wear it in three years. Kevin You suck. But you really do look good in that, Andrew. It suits you well. Andrew Stop flirting with me. Kevin I'm not flirting with you, idiot. By the way, Jeremy also says you look nice. Jean thinks you should get those pants hemmed. Andrew Are you going to get opinions from all your teammates? Kevin No, just the ones I live with. Where are you going? Have a date? Andrew It was last night. Went over to Aaron's to 'meet' his girlfriend. Kevin Oh. Do I need to post bail or...?
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